When I’m sick, I feel useless. I question my worth, and what’s worse, others question it too. I have to be a ‘contributing’ member of society, proving my value through usefulness and productivity. Even in church, there’s pressure to ‘contribute’ in some shape or form. So how do I contribute when I’m down for the […]
church
In Honour of Bereaved Mothers
This Sunday is International Bereaved Mother’s Day (first Sunday in May every year). In honour of bereaved mothers everywhere, I want to acknowledge the different kinds of bereaved mothers in our communities. The mothers who had a child or children and lost them. The mothers of stillborn babies. The mothers who lost pregnancies to miscarriage. […]
For Singles: Milestones Worth Celebrating
Single people frequently feel left out of major life milestones and celebrations. Married people get to have weddings, bridal showers, kitchen teas, Valentine’s Days and anniversaries. If they have children, they get baby showers, Mother’s and Father’s Days, and all their children’s milestones too: first steps, first words, starting school, first dates, graduation, first jobs, […]
*When* You Have Kids…
Why do people say, ‘When you have kids…’ as though they know my future? It’s just as annoying as, ‘When you get married…’ Such blanket statements bely an assumption that we are all the same and will all follow the same trajectory in life: get married, have kids, raise them, kick them out of home […]
Real Family
Ugh. It’s Valentine’s Day again. The time when everyone worships at the altar of dating, romance and marriage. The time when talk of ‘family’ means you have to have a partner (and usually children too). I can’t stand it. And I’m one of the marrieds. My heart goes out to single people this time of […]
To Argue or Not To Argue…On Social Media?
I usually avoid online arguments like the plague. Don’t get me wrong, a lot of arguments on social media are worthy. Things like ‘Is COVID-19 Real?’ and ‘Who is Keeping Our Government Accountable?’ and ‘What is Your Favourite Musical and Why is it Hamilton?’ Then there are religious debates. The place of LGBQTI+ people in […]
Stories of Singledom
It never ceases to amaze me how society pressures single people to ‘just’ get married. I hear it anecdotally in the stories told by single people who get called ‘fussy’ or ‘picky’. I hear it in singles asking aloud why they’re still single. I read it in social media complaints about the lack of eligible […]
Can We Have a God’s Day Instead of Mother’s and Father’s Days?—Part 2
Last week I shared the breath of fresh air of talking about God on Mother’s and Father’s Days, instead of our earthly mothers and fathers. I love the idea of focusing on God’s fatherly and motherly traits on such days. I would love for churches to make God the centre of these celebrations—to the extent […]
Can We Have a God’s Day Instead of Mother’s and Father’s Days?—Part 1
Most childless people struggle with Mother’s and Father’s Days. It is an unfortunate but understandable part of the grief of not having the children we wanted. It’s even harder in church services for us to applaud those who get the life—and children—we hoped for. That’s why I think we’re better off focusing on God, instead […]
My Favourite Things: When Church Does Childlessness Well
Churches often struggle to include childless people. They’re great at ministering to mothers and fathers and kids. But they often neglect those in the minority, those who didn’t follow the expected social and spiritual trajectory of getting married and making babies. I have a few choice stories about the bad and the ugly of church […]