I met my husband later in life: I was twenty-nine. OK, that may not sound like a ‘late’ marriage, but in my church circles everyone was married by the ripe old age of twenty-one. At twenty-nine, I was considered practically retired. Or a leper. During those years of singledom, I encountered some interesting myths and […]
church
Survival Skills: Upending Ableism
‘You need to do more squats,’ said my friend. ‘When your muscles are stronger, your knees won’t hurt as much.’ I stared at her. ‘Yeah, no,’ I snorted. ‘I can’t actually do squats at all.’ ‘Well,’ she said, the cogs in her brain clearly struggling with the concept of someone being unable to do squats, […]
Why I Started Writing
I started writing because I was angry. A lot of writers tell you not to do that. They say anger is a lousy motivation. They say if you write while angry, the anger will leak out onto your pages. Bring it on, I say. Frankly, I don’t care about a writer’s motivation. Many people are […]
I’m Childless—And Unashamed
There seems to be a lot of social media shaming childless people at present. They mock us for ageing alone. They point out how selfish we are. They bemoan the future of the Church, saying its decline is imminent without procreating couples—as though the Church were on the fragile precipice of implosion and childless people […]
A Vocation of Existing
I had big dreams as a kid. I loved singing, acting and being on the stage. I wanted to do something musical and creative with my life. Then, as a teenager, I encountered God in a radical way. I had always known God, but he took my life and rearranged it, in the way a […]
Being Single is Now OK, Apparently
‘Single people must be valued at the heart of our society,’ declares a recent article in The Guardian*, boldly restating what many single people have been saying for years. The article, popularised on social media in recent weeks, highlights a report on a 2-year commission into relationships and family in the Church of England, ordered by […]
I Screwed Up Mother’s Day
Whoops. I’ve screwed this up, haven’t I? Yup. Must have missed the memo. Or had a momentary lapse in concentration. Apparently, I am rostered on to serve at church this Mother’s Day. OK, I know it doesn’t sound like the crime of the century. Or any kind of crime at all. The fact remains I […]
A Wobbly Day
It wasn’t my church’s fault. They were doing a beautiful thing. A good thing. It’s not their fault I got sideswiped. The last worship song had ended and the congregation was seated. Then came the announcement from the stage: ‘Today we’re having a baby dedication.’ Oh crap. I felt the first hint of a wobble. […]
Multiplication Challenges—Or Are They?
‘How do you deal with being childless at church?’ a friend recently asked me. ‘Do people put pressure on you to “Be fruitful and multiply”?’ I nodded emphatically. ‘You betcha. Happens all the time.’ Her eyes widened. ‘How do you deal with that?’ It’s a good question, isn’t it? What is the best way to […]
Singledom in the Church
‘So much of the church,’ said Desiree, ‘is about marriage.’ Desiree was giving a talk on singledom at C3 Ballina*, and I love that the first thing she does is acknowledge how much of church life is focused on and revolves around couples. (Disclaimer: Desiree also references my book, Surviving Singledom, so I am somewhat biased […]