Surviving Childlessness—Furbabies

Cats have an uncanny knack for making their presence known. My furbaby, an eighteen-year-old rescue cat, likes to jump on the bed—while I’m sleeping, naturally—and give me snuffly kisses until I pat her. Wherever I am, she’ll find a way to climb on top of me and fall asleep for three hours.  My furbaby also […]

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Surviving Childlessness—Faith

Following God into ministry or into the mission field requires incredible faith. So does following God into a job in construction or a management position or a university course. And following God into childlessness requires faith too. Every Christian’s journey calls for extraordinary trust in God. Our faith overflows to our circumstances, our relationships, every […]

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That’s Risky

There is risk inherent in sharing your story.  Speaking up about childlessness is risky. What will people think of you? What will they say? Will they exclude you, mock you, reject you? The risk is real. And that’s not the only risk childless people face.  There are risks involved in trying to get pregnant—and in […]

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3 Reasons I Love Book Launches

What’s not to love about a book launch? Meeting people, getting to talk for a long time, people hanging on your every word. Book launches are a great ego trip. And you might sell copies of your book too!  In fact, I love book launches so much that this time around I’m holding two of […]

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My Baby Book

Tomorrow is the launch of my new book, Surviving Childlessness. And it feels like I’m birthing a baby. (It’s possible to give birth, even when you are childless.)  This is not the only time I have felt like I have birthed something other than a biological child. When my first book was published, I felt the same way. […]

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You’re ‘Lucky’

I have been told I’m lucky for not having kids.  Usually this is in the context of well-meaning friends sharing their heartache over their kids going off the rails. They lament to me about their heartache and then say something along the lines of ‘You’re lucky you don’t have to deal with that’ or ‘You’re […]

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My Prayer for You

There’s a lot of prayer involved in writing.  I pray when I write. It is my prayer that God will use my words, my turns of phrase, to reach people who need to hear from him.  Sometimes, when I write, I sense the Holy Spirit nudging me, prompting me to use certain language around the […]

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Leaving Legacies—Writing

‘Write with great care,’ exhorted my university professor, ‘because everything you write lasts for eternity. Once your words are written down somewhere, they are immortal.’  I was twenty-one years old when I heard those words, spoken by my psychology tutor. He was, of course, referring to the clinical notes and reports written by professional psychologists. […]

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Angel at my Keyboard

I had a childlessness-related wobble the other day. I was watching a soppy movie (don’t at me) and it ended with a father promising to teach his baby daughter how to play basketball.  I’m not usually a fan of Hallmark treacle. I can’t stand the over-sentimentalism that dominates the genre of ‘family’ movies. But this […]

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Childless-By-Forced-Choice

Childless-not-by-choice. Childless-by-circumstance. Childfree. There are many terms used to describe those who do not have children. It can be hard to know where one fits in the no-kids community, let alone society in general. A childless friend once told me I am childless-by-circumstance because of my medical condition. They said it was a unique circumstance […]

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