Finding Meaning in Childlessness

‘I was put on this earth to be a mother,’ my childless friend lamented. ‘What will I do with my life?’  Such is the lament of many childless women. Men also grieve the lost chance of fatherhood. When you truly believe your purpose in life is to raise children and, if you are Christian, teach […]

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Childless People Have ‘Real Families’ Too

I constantly read online rhetoric about ‘working families’. All too often, this means two adults with children. It is the mainstream, the norm, the personification of the popular-yet-mythical ‘nuclear family’.  Of course, not all forms of family fall under this definition. Traditional assumptions view families as adults-plus-children, which excludes childless people and treats them as […]

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Why I Don’t Mind Turning 40

Some people are terribly afraid of ageing. In my early twenties I travelled with a group of girls who were petrified of the big two-five. ‘I really struggled with turning twenty,’ one of them confided. ‘I don’t know how I’ll cope with being twenty-five.’  I was in my thirties at the time.  It baffled me […]

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People-People

I love people-watching. Not in a creepy way. In a lazy, dreamy, casual observer sort of way.  I’m people-watching right now. I’m sitting alone in a café, under fluorescent lights, listening to the hum of busy shoppers all around me. I watch the steam curl upwards from my cup of tea as I ponder the […]

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What’s in a Name? 

I was recently inspired by Bella DePaulo’s blog, Alone, Unattached and Other Wrong Terms for Single People[i]. This blog touched on some of the unhelpful names we give single people, names that imply singles are less-than the rest of society or missing something vital. I can relate to this. When I was single, people referred […]

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Introducing Me

I recently spent some virtual time with author Craig Wynne discussing his book How to be a Happy Bachelor. We talked about how awkward it can be to talk about singledom and childlessness. Especially with people who are not single or childless themselves. Craig made the point that such conversations can be difficult because people […]

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The Double-Whammy

We recently celebrated World Childless Week, and it was fabulous. I loved hearing stories from men and women, stories of grief and loss, stories of solidarity and love, stories of re-invention and renewal, stories in poetry and colour and narrative. The warmth and generosity of spirit was moving. And this week is Singles’ Week. This […]

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Leaving Legacies

One of the largest pieces of my childlessness grief is the loss of legacy. I wanted to leave legacies like passing on family heirlooms to the next generation. Things like jewellery, ornaments and prized possessions. I wanted to impart a love of books and music, such as Winnie-the-Pooh and classic rock bands of the 60s. […]

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Father’s Day Lamentations

Last weekend it was Father’s Day here in Australia. And boy, you could tell. The supermarkets were filled with cards in every conceivable shade of blue and grey. (I mean, why?) Everywhere you looked, families were sitting down to lunch together. You couldn’t get a seat in a café unless you had made a prior […]

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A Countercultural Conversation with Craig Wynne

Twelve years ago I was a frustrated singleton. I went shopping for books on the subject, but I found, to my dismay, there was not much out there. This was the inspiration behind my book, Surviving Singledom. Since then, to my relief, more and more books have come out about surviving, embracing and celebrating the […]

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