Why I Don’t Mind Turning 40

Some people are terribly afraid of ageing. In my early twenties I travelled with a group of girls who were petrified of the big two-five. ‘I really struggled with turning twenty,’ one of them confided. ‘I don’t know how I’ll cope with being twenty-five.’  I was in my thirties at the time.  It baffled me […]

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The Power of Rest

Rest is countercultural. It challenges popular notions of busyness and productivity, of working and earning, of our value lying in usefulness. ‘Achievers’ often receive praise and accolades, and busyness is socially reinforced. ‘How are you?’ ‘Oh, you know, busy.’ ‘I got a lot done today.’ ‘Let me check my diary and get back to you.’ […]

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Identity Crisis

Have you seen that movie where the guy says to the girl, ‘You complete me?’  Ugh.  Notice I did not mention which movie. I don’t have to. I have heard this sentiment expressed many times, in conversations, in songs, in the interrogations of single people as though their lives depended on getting married.  This concept […]

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People-People

I love people-watching. Not in a creepy way. In a lazy, dreamy, casual observer sort of way.  I’m people-watching right now. I’m sitting alone in a café, under fluorescent lights, listening to the hum of busy shoppers all around me. I watch the steam curl upwards from my cup of tea as I ponder the […]

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In Between

In February 2020, mere weeks before COVID-19 happened, I had a medical scare. I had been sick and was awaiting some test results. The symptoms I was having and the kinds of tests the doctor had ordered all painted a very grim picture indeed. As each day passed, bringing me inevitably closer to the results […]

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Is There a ‘Better’ Story of Singledom?

I love inspirational stories of singledom. Over the years I have encountered stories of happy soloism, single missionaries, and female pastors (not pastor’s wives) without husbands. I have met singles who truly believe they have the gift of singleness. I personally know singles who have ditched the whole I’ll-wait-till-I’m-married approach to life. They have seized […]

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What’s in a Name? 

I was recently inspired by Bella DePaulo’s blog, Alone, Unattached and Other Wrong Terms for Single People[i]. This blog touched on some of the unhelpful names we give single people, names that imply singles are less-than the rest of society or missing something vital. I can relate to this. When I was single, people referred […]

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Introducing Me

I recently spent some virtual time with author Craig Wynne discussing his book How to be a Happy Bachelor. We talked about how awkward it can be to talk about singledom and childlessness. Especially with people who are not single or childless themselves. Craig made the point that such conversations can be difficult because people […]

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The Double-Whammy

We recently celebrated World Childless Week, and it was fabulous. I loved hearing stories from men and women, stories of grief and loss, stories of solidarity and love, stories of re-invention and renewal, stories in poetry and colour and narrative. The warmth and generosity of spirit was moving. And this week is Singles’ Week. This […]

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Leaving Legacies

One of the largest pieces of my childlessness grief is the loss of legacy. I wanted to leave legacies like passing on family heirlooms to the next generation. Things like jewellery, ornaments and prized possessions. I wanted to impart a love of books and music, such as Winnie-the-Pooh and classic rock bands of the 60s. […]

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