I’ll Never Be a Bestseller—And That’s OK

I had some interesting conversations with budding writers and enthusiastic readers at last weeks’ book signing. Surrounded by the smell of books and the chatter of authors, we discussed reasons to write.

Some people want money. Some want fame. Some want the prestige of becoming a bestselling author. Others want to convey a message, reach a crowd. Still others have a burning story inside them which they must tell.

All are valid reasons for writing. But when people tell me, ‘I hope your book becomes a bestseller,’ I laugh.

I will never be a bestselling author.

How do I know this? For starters, my books are niche. They speak to a subset of the population about specific struggles. Their message is not universal—aside from timeless truths of the Gospel and solidarity. I set out on this writerly mission knowing I was speaking to a small group of people.

I am also not called to popularity. Because if I was, I would be. But I’m not, therefore I’m not. This removes a lot of the pressure to ‘hustle’ and post constantly on social media, which can easily become addictive. I have an online presence, but I’m never going to have a huge following on facebook or twitter. That suits me just fine.

The main reason I’m convinced I will never be a bestseller is because God has taken me by the scruff of the neck and told me so.

I was complaining to God one day, indulging in that fatal creatives’ flaw: comparing myself (unfavourably) to others. I was feeling profoundly sorry for myself. I had tried to quash this, truly I had. But envy can be a bitter creature, and on this particular day it took over.

‘God, why can’t I be popular like them?’ I cried.

I was completely startled by God’s immediate and articulate response. He took me by the scruff of the neck and said:

‘You will never be popular like them because I haven’t designed you that way. I made you weird, quirky, different, an outsider—for very specific reasons. Try and be anything else, and you’ll fall on your butt.’

I gulped and apologised quickly. Since then, I have stopped chasing popularity, crowds, and bestseller status. God has clearly designed me to be an outsider in order to have a specific ministry to outsiders—the marginalised, stigmatised, disenfranchised people in our communities. And being an outsider sometimes gives me capacity to say unpopular things, stuff I could never say if I was ‘inside.’

I was reminded of this at last weeks’ book festival when a lady approached my table and picked up one of my books. I was helping another customer, so this lady stood quietly to the side and started reading. When I turned my attention to her, she had two books cradled close to her chest. ‘Can I buy these?’ she asked. I was further delighted when she said, ‘These books are exactly what I needed today.’

Tears pricked my eyes. This is why I write. Fame and fortune mean nothing when a reader tells you they needed your specific, niche, weird words. Those words could have been her answer to prayer, the key to her problem, and the salve to her pain.

That’s better than any bestseller status.

How do you respond to the allure of popularity? How does centring Christ displace this pressure or addiction for you? Do you resonate with the calling to be different or even unpopular? Share your story. Let’s have a countercultural conversation.