Here we go again: Mother’s Day. This day invariably brings up grief for the children I wanted but never had. This grief, while uncomfortable and distressing, is a natural reaction to the loss of carefully planned hopes and dreams in my life. But how to grieve for these children? There are many ways to grieve […]
Changing Lanes and Taking Risks
‘Stay in your lane’ is a frequent social media soundbite that is not so much advice as it is admonishment. And I get it. I do. There’s only so much a millionaire can say about living on the poverty line, for example. Or that an expert on Russian poetry can tell me about when to […]
Collateral Beauty
‘Instead of focusing on collateral damage all the time,’ my friend smiled, ‘I’m trying to see the collateral beauty in the midst of the challenges. I’m looking at them as opportunities. And that’s made all the difference.’ Her phrase “collateral beauty” struck me—so much so that I asked her permission to use it on the […]
I’m an Alfa Romeo
‘Sorry I don’t have better news,’ the doctor apologised. ‘But you’re going to need surgery.’ I laughed hollowly. ‘It’s okay, I’m used to getting fresh diagnoses every other day. In fact, you can put this new one on my tab!’ The news about surgery wasn’t all bad; surgery was a long-awaited answer to a chronic […]
No Condemnation
I have an inner critic. It hisses in my ear when I’m doing well, mocks my efforts and tells me I may as well give up now and become a hermit who lives in the woods, collecting berries and communing with squirrels. It gives me an even worse time when I’m doing poorly, playing the […]
The Power of Wallace and Gromit
‘Are you going to Fringe?’ a friend asked. I had just moved to Adelaide and never heard of Fringe before. I was from Sydney, a city known for its bustling night life and seedy streets. We did not have many festivals in Sydney, apart from the famous light show known as Vivid. But apparently, Adelaide […]
Of Beauty and Rage
No one tells you about the rage. I wish someone had. I wish when I was first diagnosed with lupus that someone wise, a doctor, a counsellor, a pastor, had sat me down and said, ‘Now, Steph, lupus is going to change you as a person. You will come to resent your own skin and […]
If You’re Lost…
I can’t believe it’s March already. 2026 is galloping ahead. For some of us, we already feel a bit behind the eight-ball. This has not been the year some of us were hoping for. In fact, for some of us, 2026 stinks. It’s going in a completely unwanted, violent, catastrophic direction. And we feel left […]
Why Living with Lupus is Like a Scavenger Hunt—Part 3
What about Faith? Faith can be a two-edged sword with chronic illness. On the one hand, God’s nearness and companionship have been a great comfort to me. On the other, God has not healed me of lupus. I have wrestled with this. After all, it would be a whole lot easier if God would simply […]
Why Living with Lupus is Like a Scavenger Hunt—Part 2
Finding my Tribe It’s not easy to find support for a rare disease like lupus. But I have a few close friends with autoimmune conditions, and there is nothing quite like the breath of fresh air that is a friend who gets it. When they describe the sensation of brain fog and I say, ‘Oh, […]
