Sex and Singledom

It’s hard not having sex when you’re single. Even when you’re a Christian. And even when you’re female.  I’ve heard Christians still have sex before marriage, they just wait longer than the non-Christian mainstream. And Christians utilise porn, both men and women. So Christians are thinking about sex, and having sex, despite the church’s teachings […]

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Childless People Have ‘Real Families’ Too

I constantly read online rhetoric about ‘working families’. All too often, this means two adults with children. It is the mainstream, the norm, the personification of the popular-yet-mythical ‘nuclear family’.  Of course, not all forms of family fall under this definition. Traditional assumptions view families as adults-plus-children, which excludes childless people and treats them as […]

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Identity Crisis

Have you seen that movie where the guy says to the girl, ‘You complete me?’  Ugh.  Notice I did not mention which movie. I don’t have to. I have heard this sentiment expressed many times, in conversations, in songs, in the interrogations of single people as though their lives depended on getting married.  This concept […]

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People-People

I love people-watching. Not in a creepy way. In a lazy, dreamy, casual observer sort of way.  I’m people-watching right now. I’m sitting alone in a café, under fluorescent lights, listening to the hum of busy shoppers all around me. I watch the steam curl upwards from my cup of tea as I ponder the […]

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Is There a ‘Better’ Story of Singledom?

I love inspirational stories of singledom. Over the years I have encountered stories of happy soloism, single missionaries, and female pastors (not pastor’s wives) without husbands. I have met singles who truly believe they have the gift of singleness. I personally know singles who have ditched the whole I’ll-wait-till-I’m-married approach to life. They have seized […]

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What’s in a Name? 

I was recently inspired by Bella DePaulo’s blog, Alone, Unattached and Other Wrong Terms for Single People[i]. This blog touched on some of the unhelpful names we give single people, names that imply singles are less-than the rest of society or missing something vital. I can relate to this. When I was single, people referred […]

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Introducing Me

I recently spent some virtual time with author Craig Wynne discussing his book How to be a Happy Bachelor. We talked about how awkward it can be to talk about singledom and childlessness. Especially with people who are not single or childless themselves. Craig made the point that such conversations can be difficult because people […]

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The Double-Whammy

We recently celebrated World Childless Week, and it was fabulous. I loved hearing stories from men and women, stories of grief and loss, stories of solidarity and love, stories of re-invention and renewal, stories in poetry and colour and narrative. The warmth and generosity of spirit was moving. And this week is Singles’ Week. This […]

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Valuable Connections

When I was single, I attended a small community church and they welcomed me as one of their own. It felt like I had been part of the family for years, maybe even decades. They were like a spiritual family to me. So readily did they embrace me that one particular family included me in […]

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A Countercultural Conversation with Craig Wynne

Twelve years ago I was a frustrated singleton. I went shopping for books on the subject, but I found, to my dismay, there was not much out there. This was the inspiration behind my book, Surviving Singledom. Since then, to my relief, more and more books have come out about surviving, embracing and celebrating the […]

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