I had surgery earlier this year. Nothing major, thankfully, but it was nerve-wracking nonetheless. I have had flare-ups owing to surgery in the past, so any kind of procedure requiring general anaesthetic holds a special kind of terror for me. If you know, you know.
The hardest thing about surgery is doing it alone. People can send you positive thoughts and vibes, and loved ones can do the drop-off and pick-up, but in the end, you’re on your own: lying on a bed, wrapped in cotton and plastic, doing those damn breathing exercises like they’re caffeine shots, keeping the panic at bay.
Three thoughts kept me comfort while I waited in suspense for the surgeon:
– God was with me. The best thing about knowing God, besides the whole salvation thing, is he’s always with me. He’s the only one who can come with me into surgery theatres and sterile areas. His Spirit provides the comforting sense of his presence. And he does.
– My family were praying for me. My church family, that is. When they found out I was having surgery, they rallied around me and upheld me in prayer. Lying on that hospital bed, I sensed the prayers of the family holding me steady.
– Angels were watching over me. For some reason, I recalled Psalm 91 as I lay there in all my gowned glory: ‘For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.’ (Psalms 91:11-12 NIV) Which obviously brought to mind the classic 80s song, ‘Angels watching over meeeee…’ Thank you, Amy Grant.
But I had forgotten one thing. I only realised it afterwards when talking with a friend about her upcoming surgery, and I suddenly blurted out:
‘Remember, you have a cloud of witnesses watching over you.’
Where did that come from? I had no idea, but I realised that while I had been alone in my own surgery (except for God), I had not really been alone. Because the great cloud of witnesses were with me, and they are watching us, bearing holy witness to all our doings.
‘Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles…’ (Hebrews 12:1)
I don’t know how literal this ‘surrounding’ is or whether it’s simply a metaphor for their testimonies of faith, but it’s true that our ancestors have gone before us and their faith can serve as encouragement for us. Even when we’re worried sick. Or just sick.
Who is in this cloud of witnesses? Read Hebrews 11. Such inspiring figures as Moses, Abraham and Jacob feature in that great litany. It’s comforting for me to remember that these figures, mightily used by God and yet vulnerable and human in every way, are watching over us and cheering us on.
Next time you have to do something scary, like face a horrifying illness or undergo surgery, I hope you know that you are ‘along but not alone,’ accompanied by angels, your praying church family, the cloud of witnesses, and the Holy Spirit himself, who assures us of God’s constant nearness and comfort.
Have you ever faced surgery or something similarly terrifying? How did you cope with that? Does it help to remember God’s nearness, as well as that of his angels and the cloud of witnesses? Share your story. Let’s have a countercultural conversation.
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That’s very true. In 2021 I had major heart surgery – a quadruple bypass. My husband dropped me at the hospital and came back a week later to pick me up. No visitors. Just phone calls. I was supposed to have internet connection at St. Vincents but nobody could ever get it working. I was very ill to begin with so not up to talking much on the phon – even on our Wedding ‘Anniversary. But I knew God had me in the Palm of His Hand and that many prayers were being offered on my behalf.
Thanks for sharing your story, Jeanie, and how God held you firm during that time. It must have been very challenging to not be able to talk much, especially on your anniversary, and to have no wifi on top! Glad you had people praying for you too. It’s so good to know we’re not alone in these scary times. Great to hear from you!