‘How are you feeling?’ my friend asked as I walked into church. I jiggled a pair of dice in my head. When you live with a chronic illness, innocent queries after your health can backfire quickly. Well-meaning people can pray for healing that is not forthcoming, or I can get caught in a web of […]
faith
Why Childlessness Doesn’t Make You a Bad Advert for God
‘God wants you to be fruitful and multiply.’ ‘Sex is only for procreation.’ ‘Motherhood is the greatest gift God can give you.’ There’s pressure in Christian circles to have children. Don’t believe me? I’ve been subjected to each of the above. In fact, I’ve been told in no uncertain terms that I’m in sin if […]
My Dead Friend’s Gift
My friend died a couple of weeks ago. His funeral was last week. I watched online from interstate as his friends, family and wife shared funny and heartwarming stories about his life. He was a gifted musician, a cellist, among other things. He was the kind of musician who could organise, orchestrate and conduct entire […]
Why Living with Lupus is Like a Scavenger Hunt—Part 3
What about Faith? Faith can be a two-edged sword with chronic illness. On the one hand, God’s nearness and companionship have been a great comfort to me. On the other, God has not healed me of lupus. I have wrestled with this. After all, it would be a whole lot easier if God would simply […]
Happy Birthday, Book Baby!
‘I live with lupus,’ the lady said, ‘and when I saw in your author bio that you live with lupus too, I told myself I simply had to meet you!’ ‘I’m so thrilled to meet a fellow lupie!’ I laughed. Lupus is a rare condition and I often feel a bit alone and lost in […]
Dating: Good Traits and Red Flags (Part 1)
In my time of participating in the dating world and hearing about friends’ dating experiences, I’ve gathered a collection of worthy traits to look for in a partner. I’ve also gained some hard-won wisdom about red flags (haven’t we all?) when deciding whether to continue in a relationship—or whether to run! When considering dating, it’s […]
Myths of Singledom
I met my husband later in life: I was twenty-nine. OK, that may not sound like a ‘late’ marriage, but in my church circles everyone was married by the ripe old age of twenty-one. At twenty-nine, I was considered practically retired. Or a leper. During those years of singledom, I encountered some interesting myths and […]
Survival Skills: Scriptures for Illness
‘Doubled up with pain, I call to God All the day long. No answer. Nothing. I keep at it all night, tossing and turning… I’m a bucket kicked over and spilled, Every joint in my body has been pulled apart. My heart is a blob Of melted wax in my gut. I’m dry as a […]
Survival Skills: The God Who Allows Pain
‘Why does God allow suffering?’ is a common catch-cry in our society. Christians and non-Christians alike struggle with the concept of a God who either doesn’t seem to care about our pain, or who cares but appears powerless to intervene. For a Christian who believes God is all-powerful as well as all-caring, it’s a conundrum. […]
Survival Skills: Upending Ableism
‘You need to do more squats,’ said my friend. ‘When your muscles are stronger, your knees won’t hurt as much.’ I stared at her. ‘Yeah, no,’ I snorted. ‘I can’t actually do squats at all.’ ‘Well,’ she said, the cogs in her brain clearly struggling with the concept of someone being unable to do squats, […]