‘I’ll pray for your healing,’ smiled the young woman. ‘Actually,’ I smiled back, ‘I think God has told me he’s not going to heal me.’ The woman frowned. ‘That’s not the God I know. My God would never deny me healing.’ ‘OK, let me tell you my weird testimony…’ In the not-too-distant past, I was […]
sick
Chronic Illness is Lonelifying
‘My knees are shot,’ I explained to my shamefully fit friend. ‘You need to do more squats,’ she shot back. ‘I can’t.’ ‘Well,’ she said after a lengthy pause, ‘that’s a problem.’ Yes, it is. Arthritis in my knees in my forties is a significant problem. Especially when I’ve also got back problems and everyone […]
Survival Skills: Grieving Spaces
I woke up with a niggle in my chest. It’s fine, I told myself. I took pain killers anyway. They I laid down to rest, but the pain became rapidly worse. So I got up, sat on the couch, and began praying that the pain killers would kick in really soon. Twenty minutes later I […]
The Art of Silence
I live with chronic illness. And God hasn’t healed me. Admittedly, non-healing doesn’t seem to be much of a testimony. Yet God has brought some interesting things out of this illness experience, and perhaps they are worth sharing with you. In particular, I have had to get good at doing nothing whatsoever. My illness has […]
Music is My IV
I’ve been listening to music during my latest illness flare. A lot. You could say music is my IV. Music has always been a lifeline for me. From childhood days when I would sing songs softly to God at bedtime, through teenaged years of alternate rock and angst-ridden folklore, to now when I sing for […]
Travel Diaries of a Sick Girl—It Still Sucks, But the View’s Amazing: Part 2
In our last episode, I have been struck down with pain in the Bernese Alps of Switzerland, making it difficult to walk. Read on to find out what happens next… The pain slowly eased off after about two weeks and I was able to manage most walks—and even stairs. I had another brief bout of […]
Travel Diaries of a Sick Girl: It Still Sucks, But the View’s Amazing! – Part 1
I recently went traipsing through Europe. I ate German sausage in Bavaria, walked over the mountains of Switzerland and shopped in Austria. I did other things too (in case you were wondering) but the food and the mountains were the highlights. And shopping at Swarovski. I was pretty sick while overseas. For those of you […]
A Vocation of Existing
I had big dreams as a kid. I loved singing, acting and being on the stage. I wanted to do something musical and creative with my life. Then, as a teenager, I encountered God in a radical way. I had always known God, but he took my life and rearranged it, in the way a […]
Coping or Numbing?
‘You are coping so well,’ remarked my doctor. ‘Every time I see you, you’re always so positive and upbeat.’ ‘Maybe I should come in on a bad day!’ I shot back, laughing. But his words made me think. What does ‘coping’ mean? How do people interpret my happy front or humour as coping—or do they […]
What Are Your Hopes for 2023?
I’m not setting goals and plans for this year. I’m not making New Year’s Resolutions anymore. It’s not that I don’t believe in them, and if they help you, knock yourself out. But one thing chronic illness has taught me is that my goals and plans are often laughably unrealistic. These days, when I set […]