‘When we start from the foundation of knowing we are loved, rather than demolishing our faith, times of pain can lead to faith renovations…’ – ‘A Firm Foundation’, Katherine Gantlett, from Praying Through Infertility.
This quote for me sums up the entire message and tone of Praying Through Infertility, the 90-day devotional for men and women struggling with infertility. The rigours of infertility are enough to test the mightiest of wills, and even the strongest of marriages and faiths can be broken.
So it is no small feat that thirty-seven contributors have been able to put words to their experiences of anxiety, hope and despair on their infertility journeys. What’s more, each of the ninety devotionals point toward God, rather than away from him—even when faith is raw and close to collapse.
Over and over again, the unique stories echo the same truth: that God is close at hand, that he loves us, that he is waiting to meet us in the most horrible places. They assure us that God has not abandoned us to the depths of despair but in fact waits for us there, as he is no stranger to darkness.
The unique stories echo the same truth: that God is close at hand, that he loves us, that he is waiting to meet us in the most horrible places. I was reassured, as I read, that God is present in silence, in tears, in pain; that the worst moments can also be the most sacred; that wintering, an intentional withdrawal from the world for our own restoration, can be a holy act; that God actively fills our weaknesses with his own strength like water filling an empty jar.
I learned how others have faced unspeakable losses and renamed them mysteries. I marvelled at how some chose to focus on the here and now, on enjoyment of what is rather than what could be, as an everyday act of faith. I was moved at how God’s family has at times held up our faith when we couldn’t, like Moses’ arms being uplifted by others when his fatigue was overwhelming (Exodus 17:8-13).
Most of all, I sensed the intimate closeness of God beside me in my own emotion that surfaced. I realised afresh that even though at times I still get mad at God, even though I feel disappointed and angry and abandoned, that God doesn’t let anything inside us get in the way of his being with us. His love is so immense it reaches all the way around our walls and defenses, right into our hearts where we need him.
God doesn’t let anything inside us get in the way of his being with us. He doesn’t just know our pain; he feels it, right along with us, even to the point of weeping with us. And when our faith feels like it has been demolished, he helps to clear the rubble and rebuild it, like a faith renovation. It might not look like the faith we’re used to; it will probably look different to how it looked before. And that’s OK.
As I finished the book, I felt full. I was grateful for the honesty of the writers and I hoped that their vulnerability might give permission for others to be open about their stories as well. I was left with this lingering question in my mind:
What do I need from Jesus today?
What do I need from Jesus today? Be it strength, hope, or the simplicity of silent companionship, God is near. He wants to help you with whatever you are facing. I encourage you to turn toward him today, even if there are no words.
Do you, or someone you know, have a story of infertility? How might you share your story to encourage others in a similar situation? Do you struggle to turn toward God when your faith has been stretched into unrecognisable shapes? What do you need from Jesus today? Share your story. Let’s have a countercultural conversation.
To purchase Praying Through Infertility from compiler Sheridan Voysey’s website, click here: https://sheridanvoysey.com/prayingthroughinfertility/
To purchase Praying Through Infertility from Koorong, click here: https://koorong.com/product/praying-through-infertility-a-90-day-devotional-for_9781400334513