I spent some time with the ocean today. The wind was quite wild and the ocean was a strange mix of teal and murky green. White caps abounded and the pine trees danced and swayed at the whim of the wind. I breathed in the fresh coastal air, grateful for my thick jumper and scarf. […]
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Why You’re Not A Bad Advert for God If You’re Sick
‘How are you feeling?’ my friend asked as I walked into church. I jiggled a pair of dice in my head. When you live with a chronic illness, innocent queries after your health can backfire quickly. Well-meaning people can pray for healing that is not forthcoming, or I can get caught in a web of […]
Bad Adverts for God: Singledom
‘You should be content with your singledom.’ ‘God wants you to use this time to develop yourself.’ ‘Enjoy it while it lasts!’ These are just some of the messages I received while I was single. It wouldn’t have been so bad if I had agreed with them. (It also would not have been so bad […]
Of Beauty and Rage
No one tells you about the rage. I wish someone had. I wish when I was first diagnosed with lupus that someone wise, a doctor, a counsellor, a pastor, had sat me down and said, ‘Now, Steph, lupus is going to change you as a person. You will come to resent your own skin and […]
Why Living with Lupus is Like a Scavenger Hunt—Part 3
What about Faith? Faith can be a two-edged sword with chronic illness. On the one hand, God’s nearness and companionship have been a great comfort to me. On the other, God has not healed me of lupus. I have wrestled with this. After all, it would be a whole lot easier if God would simply […]
Lazy (in Moderation)
In reading Allen Arnold’s deceptively short blog, Operating Below Capacity,* I found what my soul had been looking for. It was invitation from the Holy Spirit to slow down already. I’ve been slowing down for a while now, or attempting to at least. I may be succeeding a little: Arnold’s blog took me about twenty […]
Survival Skills: Scriptures for Illness
‘Doubled up with pain, I call to God All the day long. No answer. Nothing. I keep at it all night, tossing and turning… I’m a bucket kicked over and spilled, Every joint in my body has been pulled apart. My heart is a blob Of melted wax in my gut. I’m dry as a […]
Not Your Typical Self-Help Book (Thank God)
I can’t stand self-help books. You know the ones that advertise ‘Seven Steps to a Completely Successful Life’ and ‘Nine Ways to Be the Best Christian Ever’? Yep, not a fan. It’s not that I think these topics are trite or unworthy of our time. Quite the opposite. These are hugely important discussions for us […]
Why I Started Writing
I started writing because I was angry. A lot of writers tell you not to do that. They say anger is a lousy motivation. They say if you write while angry, the anger will leak out onto your pages. Bring it on, I say. Frankly, I don’t care about a writer’s motivation. Many people are […]
Gifts and Graces: A Tale of A Book Signing
I walk into the bookstore, arms wrapped around my box of books. (I always bring spare books to book signings just in case. Call it professional paranoia.) I spot a table set up for me and my author friend who will be joining me. Unhurriedly I set up my paraphernalia and relax on a chair […]