Non-Mother’s Day

To all who dreamed of being a mother, raising a child, passing on your most prized possessions and values, I see you. To all who fantasised about shopping for tiny clothes, fitting out a nursery and singing lullabies, I see you. To all who chose names and schools and godparents, I see you. To all […]

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False Hope or False Economy?

When I was single, I was the unwitting recipient of false hope. ‘It will happen for you.’‘You’ll meet someone.’‘You’re gonna make some man very happy one day!’ And of course, the trump card from Christian friends: ‘God will not deny you the desire of your heart.’ The same thing happens to childless people as well. […]

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Real Family

Ugh. It’s Valentine’s Day again. The time when everyone worships at the altar of dating, romance and marriage. The time when talk of ‘family’ means you have to have a partner (and usually children too). I can’t stand it.  And I’m one of the marrieds.  My heart goes out to single people this time of […]

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Costly Worship

Have you ever worshiped God in the midst of tragedy?  Or while you’re sick?  Or in the throes of anxiety?  Or in the middle of a pandemic?  If so, you understand the cost of worship. You have paid the price of putting your own genuine needs aside in order to serve others. You know what […]

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Can We Have a God’s Day Instead of Mother’s and Father’s Days?—Part 2

Last week I shared the breath of fresh air of talking about God on Mother’s and Father’s Days, instead of our earthly mothers and fathers.  I love the idea of focusing on God’s fatherly and motherly traits on such days. I would love for churches to make God the centre of these celebrations—to the extent […]

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Legacies of Faith: The God Who Weeps

It’s Mother’s Day again. My church is holding a Mother’s Day service.  Other childless Christians might appreciate the dilemma this presents.  On the one hand, I love my church and want to be part of it. On the other hand, Mother’s Day can be one of the toughest days in the calendar year. There are […]

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Why I Sing When I’m Sad

I was recently interviewed for the Childless and Christian online conference, and while listening back to myself (which can be both horrifying and reassuring), I was struck by how creativity can help us in our grief.  Five months ago, I was watching a movie when I was struck with an image of my daughter, the […]

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Singledom and Social Media

I recently left a singles-focused social media group. Or, to be more accurate, I was asked to leave and re-join, something I was not prepared to do (due to personal circumstances). So I left altogether.  In a way, I am glad. I have noticed this group seems particularly fond of positive singledom narratives. You know, […]

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This Jesus

Have you ever found church tiring? I know I have. We have internal church politics, fanatical offshoots, people leaving the church in droves. We have hypocrisy and apathy and disillusionment. We have COVID-19-weariness, the effort of trying to keep the living body of Christ alive in lockdown. We live in a world where Zoom fatigue […]

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Surviving Childlessness—Furbabies

Cats have an uncanny knack for making their presence known. My furbaby, an eighteen-year-old rescue cat, likes to jump on the bed—while I’m sleeping, naturally—and give me snuffly kisses until I pat her. Wherever I am, she’ll find a way to climb on top of me and fall asleep for three hours.  My furbaby also […]

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