Submissions for the annual World Childless Week (WCW)* opened this week. I’m already thinking about what I might submit by way of written pieces. Inevitably, this has got me reflecting on why we bother to write at all, especially for something as public as WCW. I write partly for selfish reasons. Writing about my childless […]
grief
Praying Through Infertility—Faith Renovations
‘When we start from the foundation of knowing we are loved, rather than demolishing our faith, times of pain can lead to faith renovations…’ – ‘A Firm Foundation’, Katherine Gantlett, from Praying Through Infertility. This quote for me sums up the entire message and tone of Praying Through Infertility, the 90-day devotional for men and women struggling […]
Don’t Hurry My Grief
I don’t get why people want me to move on from childless grief. ‘We just want you to be happy,’ they say. Apparently, in their eyes, me being ‘happy’ means not grieving and probably forgetting about being childless as well. I have a few problems with this. First of all, what makes you think I’m not […]
Weird Childless Relief
After my recent surgery I experienced intense nausea and vomiting for a week. As the vomiting finally backed off, I remarked to a friend, ‘If morning sickness is anything like that, I’m glad I was never pregnant!’ I was slightly surprised at my own comment. Childlessness brings many unpleasant emotions with it: disappointment, anger, grief. […]
Music is My IV
I’ve been listening to music during my latest illness flare. A lot. You could say music is my IV. Music has always been a lifeline for me. From childhood days when I would sing songs softly to God at bedtime, through teenaged years of alternate rock and angst-ridden folklore, to now when I sing for […]
The Grief of Cancelled Plans
I look into the empty starless night, The blackened expanse reflecting The void in my own heart. The place where gatherings, meals, Conversation, laughter, exchanges of gifts Should have lived. Now disappointment reigns— The disappointment of cancellation After cancellation, Where plans were made, Postponed, And cancelled again. Not for unwillingness or indecision, But for illness, […]
I’m Childless—And Unashamed
There seems to be a lot of social media shaming childless people at present. They mock us for ageing alone. They point out how selfish we are. They bemoan the future of the Church, saying its decline is imminent without procreating couples—as though the Church were on the fragile precipice of implosion and childless people […]
Is Writing Cathartic?
‘How wonderful to express your pain through writing,’ people often enthuse. ‘It must be so cathartic!’ Yes—and no. On the one hand, I find it helpful to get my feelings onto paper or screen. Seeing things in black and white can give me clarity about my problems, not to mention perspective. Sometimes, when I write […]
Will You Be Part of World Childless Week?
Next week the topics for World Childless Week 2023 will be announced and I can’t wait! I’m already drafting ideas for World Childless Week. I’m determined to submit something, even though I’m not sure what it will be yet. I’m still in the brainstorming stages, and I’m sure the topic announcements next week will help […]
Coping or Numbing?
‘You are coping so well,’ remarked my doctor. ‘Every time I see you, you’re always so positive and upbeat.’ ‘Maybe I should come in on a bad day!’ I shot back, laughing. But his words made me think. What does ‘coping’ mean? How do people interpret my happy front or humour as coping—or do they […]