‘I have decided,’ announced my psychologist/coach friend, Krystyna Kidson, ‘to make the most of things while I have them. To that end, I’m going to learn to roller-skate!’* We were discussing life with chronic illness and, in particular, I was lamenting the loss of predictability and control. ‘How can I go on,’ I moaned, ‘when […]
love
Alternative Dates for Valentine’s Day
I have never liked Valentine’s Day. Not when I was single. Not now that I am married. To me, if you want to show someone you love them, including yourself, there is no reason to wait for a commercially driven fest like Valentine’s Day. You just do it. When I was single, I did just […]
A Story of Life
‘An unusual story of grief over a beloved pet and shared through cake and all things lemon. The ritual of death and new growth is wonderfully encapsulated through the lemon tree.’—Lorraine Marwood, Stories of Life judge and award-winning author Yesterday my short story, Love and Lemon Cake, won second prize in the Stories of Life competition (short story category). I […]
Unravelling
‘It’s God’s plan’, they say, As I quietly unravel, Wiping the tears discretely, So as not to interrupt Their conversation. I gather memories, images Of children I never had Like star clusters Sparkling in the black void. *** ‘It’s God’s plan’, they say, As I sidestep the awkward question About ‘family’, As I avoid the […]
God’s Plan?
I don’t know why so many people say the grief of childlessness is ‘God’s plan’. To be fair, when Christians say devastating events are ‘God’s plan’, I don’t think they mean God is a sadistic old so-and-so who is detached from our suffering and rather enjoys inflicting pain. (At least, I hope not.) Nor do I […]
Coping With Childlessness When Your Furbaby Dies
What do you do when your furbaby dies—especially when they were instrumental in coping with childlessness? My beautiful rescue cat, Portia, recently died. She was nineteen and had a few health problems, but a few months ago she went rapidly downhill with suspected renal failure. She went very peacefully in the end. Just like that, […]
Non-Mother’s Day
To all who dreamed of being a mother, raising a child, passing on your most prized possessions and values, I see you. To all who fantasised about shopping for tiny clothes, fitting out a nursery and singing lullabies, I see you. To all who chose names and schools and godparents, I see you. To all […]
False Hope or False Economy?
When I was single, I was the unwitting recipient of false hope. ‘It will happen for you.’‘You’ll meet someone.’‘You’re gonna make some man very happy one day!’ And of course, the trump card from Christian friends: ‘God will not deny you the desire of your heart.’ The same thing happens to childless people as well. […]
Real Family
Ugh. It’s Valentine’s Day again. The time when everyone worships at the altar of dating, romance and marriage. The time when talk of ‘family’ means you have to have a partner (and usually children too). I can’t stand it. And I’m one of the marrieds. My heart goes out to single people this time of […]
Costly Worship
Have you ever worshiped God in the midst of tragedy? Or while you’re sick? Or in the throes of anxiety? Or in the middle of a pandemic? If so, you understand the cost of worship. You have paid the price of putting your own genuine needs aside in order to serve others. You know what […]