Surviving Childlessness—Furbabies

Cats have an uncanny knack for making their presence known. My furbaby, an eighteen-year-old rescue cat, likes to jump on the bed—while I’m sleeping, naturally—and give me snuffly kisses until I pat her. Wherever I am, she’ll find a way to climb on top of me and fall asleep for three hours.  My furbaby also […]

Continue reading


Surviving Childlessness—Faith

Following God into ministry or into the mission field requires incredible faith. So does following God into a job in construction or a management position or a university course. And following God into childlessness requires faith too. Every Christian’s journey calls for extraordinary trust in God. Our faith overflows to our circumstances, our relationships, every […]

Continue reading


That’s Risky

There is risk inherent in sharing your story.  Speaking up about childlessness is risky. What will people think of you? What will they say? Will they exclude you, mock you, reject you? The risk is real. And that’s not the only risk childless people face.  There are risks involved in trying to get pregnant—and in […]

Continue reading


3 Reasons I Love Book Launches

What’s not to love about a book launch? Meeting people, getting to talk for a long time, people hanging on your every word. Book launches are a great ego trip. And you might sell copies of your book too!  In fact, I love book launches so much that this time around I’m holding two of […]

Continue reading


You’re ‘Lucky’

I have been told I’m lucky for not having kids.  Usually this is in the context of well-meaning friends sharing their heartache over their kids going off the rails. They lament to me about their heartache and then say something along the lines of ‘You’re lucky you don’t have to deal with that’ or ‘You’re […]

Continue reading


My Prayer for You

There’s a lot of prayer involved in writing.  I pray when I write. It is my prayer that God will use my words, my turns of phrase, to reach people who need to hear from him.  Sometimes, when I write, I sense the Holy Spirit nudging me, prompting me to use certain language around the […]

Continue reading


Leaving Legacies—Writing

‘Write with great care,’ exhorted my university professor, ‘because everything you write lasts for eternity. Once your words are written down somewhere, they are immortal.’  I was twenty-one years old when I heard those words, spoken by my psychology tutor. He was, of course, referring to the clinical notes and reports written by professional psychologists. […]

Continue reading


Angel at my Keyboard

I had a childlessness-related wobble the other day. I was watching a soppy movie (don’t at me) and it ended with a father promising to teach his baby daughter how to play basketball.  I’m not usually a fan of Hallmark treacle. I can’t stand the over-sentimentalism that dominates the genre of ‘family’ movies. But this […]

Continue reading


Finding Meaning in Childlessness

‘I was put on this earth to be a mother,’ my childless friend lamented. ‘What will I do with my life?’  Such is the lament of many childless women. Men also grieve the lost chance of fatherhood. When you truly believe your purpose in life is to raise children and, if you are Christian, teach […]

Continue reading


Childless People Have ‘Real Families’ Too

I constantly read online rhetoric about ‘working families’. All too often, this means two adults with children. It is the mainstream, the norm, the personification of the popular-yet-mythical ‘nuclear family’.  Of course, not all forms of family fall under this definition. Traditional assumptions view families as adults-plus-children, which excludes childless people and treats them as […]

Continue reading