When a Christian is Childless

We sat at the church function at one of those big round tables that can fit four couples around it. My husband and I listened in silent horror as the other three couples at the table freely and unashamedly bashed childless people. “Childless people have no idea what it’s like to be a parent,” they […]

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Pick Up The Slack

Single and childless people – anyone, really, who does not have children – are often asked to do more, simply by virtue of their circumstances. Parents get flexible work options. They can amend their hours, leave early, and switch their commitments around. They have to be there for their kids. While this is understandable and […]

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Lucky

“You’re so lucky you don’t have kids.” I was sitting in the lunchroom at work this week with two other colleagues. They were conversing about their problems with their respective children. On and on it went, all the issues and frustrations and complaints. I was mostly listening rather than talking. I did not feel I […]

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A Mother’s Comfort

“As a mother comforts her child, So I will comfort you. You will be comforted in Jerusalem.” (Isaiah 66:13, The Message.) This year, Mother’s Day has turned my thoughts toward God. Odd, you say? Yes, for me too. Do not worry, I am not about to embark upon a feminist-fueled rant about the relative merits […]

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Keep Calm and Keep On Writing

Non-writers make strange comments sometimes. When I tell people I am currently writing a book about Surviving Childlessness, they often say things like, “That must be wonderfully cathartic.” “I think you misunderstand me,” I do not reply. The catharsis theory is a popular one. It presupposes that writing is inherently therapeutic. I guess that it […]

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Childless at Easter

So we are about to head to church on a Good Friday. One of the most celebrated, heavily attended, child-focused days of the year. And we do not have children. I am trying to identify this feeling I have about going to church today. It is not quite dread. Nor is it exactly apprehension. I […]

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Badge of Honour

The place is a disaster zone. Furniture overturned. Rubbish piled high. Chaos and disorganisation as far as the eye can see. Yep, I just moved house. It is easy to see a new house as being some kind of badge of honour. Society tells us that material things are markers of success. Got the house? […]

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Childless-By-Forced-Choice

I was married for two years when I was diagnosed with lupus. I was thirty-one at the time. The lupus diagnosis came after eight years of mysterious symptoms and misdiagnoses. (In that respect, the diagnosis was a blessing.) It was not a shock. It finally gave me clarity on all the bizarre, seemingly coincidental medical […]

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Pass It On

I had a challenging time with childlessness at work this week. Normally I am fine with childlessness at work; I talk to parents all the time, no biggie. This week, we had a training day on learning to run a new group for parents. No problemo. I did not even think twice about it. On […]

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Did You Survive?

I think I survived Christmas. I mean, my heart is still beating, I am still breathing, so I guess I survived. All of my limbs are still attached, so I guess I’m still in one piece. Prior to Christmas, there was an onslaught of Christmas survival blogs, especially for single and childless people. Advice abounded, […]

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