To My Friends With Children

You may not believe this. I have friends who are parents. Here I am, a childless thirty-something, friends with other people who have children. It’s true. But how can this happen, I hear you ask? Don’t childless people get put off by parents and vice versa? Not all of us. Some of us are very […]

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Lamenting Childlessness

“It’s God’s will.” “Maybe God doesn’t want you to be a parent.” “You need to get on with your life.” Society is good at handing out advice to childless people. It tells people how they ought to feel and for how long. Those of us who are grieving do not need a pat answer or […]

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Lamenting Singledom

Single and 29. It does not sound very old, does it? And yet I felt ancient. Surrounded by 21-year-old marrieds, I was beginning to feel like life had passed me by. Fellow 29-year-olds were trying to decide whether or not to have a third child. Meanwhile, my prayers for a husband seemed to be falling […]

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Angry with God

“Oh God, You have rejected us and cast us off, Broken down our defenses, and scattered us. You have been angry – O restore us And turn Yourself to us again! You have made the land to quake and tremble, You have rent it open; Repair its breaches, for it shakes and totters. You have […]

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Savouring Chocolate

I’m a rationer when it comes to chocolate. I have always had a sweet tooth – since I was a kid – and I have always been able to ration my chocolate supplies. Some people like to binge on chocolate, but not me. I take a bite and I savour every moment. I find this […]

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By Design

A preacher once said to me, “If you are planted in the right environment, you will flourish.” He was speaking metaphorically, of course, comparing our lives with those of trees. The preacher suggested that different types of trees require different environments, different soils, different exposure to light and so on, in order to grow into […]

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It’s Not Just You

When I first asked for volunteers with stories of childlessness, I had no idea that so many people would respond. I also had no idea how many of those people would suffer from medical conditions. It seems that there is a high correlation between illness and childlessness. This was encouraging for me, given that I […]

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Need A Tow?

My car broke down yesterday. In the middle of traffic. On a major road. It was a warm, sunny day and the car decided to stop where it was in bumper-to-bumper traffic. It was the clutch. (My fault for driving a manual.) A clutch is supposed to operate in two phases: in and out. My […]

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“You Have No Idea”

My husband and I attended a church function recently. We were seated at a table with three other couples. As we sipped our drinks and awaited the arrival of dinner, the conversation turned to children. It turned out the other three couples were parents and grandparents. What could have been a lovely inclusive conversation turned […]

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Free-falling faith

  I recently resigned from my job. That’s right, chucked it in, without having another job to go to. I have resigned without the safety net of knowing where I am going next. This was not my plan. The plan was to find the next job, line it up neatly, then resign. I like my […]

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