Finding my Fit

  When I was in my twenties, I did not fit because I was single. Everyone around me was married by the age of 21. It was like a team sport in my church. “No problem,” I thought, “It will just take me a little longer to find the right person. There’s no urgency anyway.” […]

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Did You Survive?

My social media feed one month ago was inundated with pre-Christmas survival-type blogs. You know the kind of thing: “7 tips to stress less this Christmas”, “How to spend time with family without wanting to kill them”, “How to make a killer Christmas lunch” and so on. My feed was full of tips and tricks […]

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Surviving Showers

There are a lot of celebrations designed to congratulate couples. There’s the engagement party, bridal shower, kitchen tea, hen’s night, buck’s night and of course the wedding. Dating couples get Valentine’s Day and married couples get the yearly wedding anniversary. Once kids come along, there’s a whole new plethora of celebrations to be enjoyed. Baby […]

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Beauty from Pain

During a recent interview for Surviving Childlessness, a childless woman told me about a song that helped her through the most painful time of her childlessness journey. I hope it will help others as I share it today. Beauty from Pain – by Superchick The lights go out all around me One last candle to […]

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Out of the In-Crowd

One of the problems that many single people face is social exclusion. A friend of mine at church once told me of an experience where she was explicitly told by a group of church friends: “We’re going out for dinner now, and you’re not invited because you’re single.” Then all of the couples in the […]

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The lost tribe of childless women: A response

  Jody Day’s excellent TED talk on childlessness highlights the invisible grief experienced by those who will never have children. 1 in 4 Australians over 45 are childless. That’s a lot of us. And yet, we are not talking about the grief associated with losing something we never had. It can seem incomprehensible to those […]

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Are We Too Happy?

A childless lady recently told me she has stopped going to church because all she heard about was “belief and trust”. She said that positivity has invaded the church and she no longer feels comfortable bearing her grief of childlessness there. My heart aches for her. It begs an important question: Can we be too […]

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A Platter of Platitudes

I was irked the other day to hear that a fellow childless lady had her childlessness described as “God’s will.” I don’t know if it was meant as an encouragement, but it sounded like the result was all kinds of unhelpful. To me, “It’s God’s will” comes across as a platitude. We do this, don’t […]

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Reflections on Otherhood

I recently watched a TED talk by Melanie Notkin, “Welcome to the Otherhood”[1]. Melanie spoke about the grief of being single without children. For Melanie, the grief was one of “circumstantial infertility,” that is, grief of not being able to have children because of her relationship status. One thing I liked about Melanie’s TED talk […]

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Deliverance from Childlessness

During my recent visit to Koorong, I began talking to people about childlessness as the subject of my next book. One of the people I spoke with happened to be a Koorong staff member, and he helpfully did a search on childlessness. His search yielded one result, Deliverance from Childlessness¹. Besides further convincing me that […]

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