The Double-Whammy

We recently celebrated World Childless Week, and it was fabulous. I loved hearing stories from men and women, stories of grief and loss, stories of solidarity and love, stories of re-invention and renewal, stories in poetry and colour and narrative. The warmth and generosity of spirit was moving. And this week is Singles’ Week. This […]

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Leaving Legacies

One of the largest pieces of my childlessness grief is the loss of legacy. I wanted to leave legacies like passing on family heirlooms to the next generation. Things like jewellery, ornaments and prized possessions. I wanted to impart a love of books and music, such as Winnie-the-Pooh and classic rock bands of the 60s. […]

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Father’s Day Lamentations

Last weekend it was Father’s Day here in Australia. And boy, you could tell. The supermarkets were filled with cards in every conceivable shade of blue and grey. (I mean, why?) Everywhere you looked, families were sitting down to lunch together. You couldn’t get a seat in a café unless you had made a prior […]

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A Countercultural Conversation with Craig Wynne

Twelve years ago I was a frustrated singleton. I went shopping for books on the subject, but I found, to my dismay, there was not much out there. This was the inspiration behind my book, Surviving Singledom. Since then, to my relief, more and more books have come out about surviving, embracing and celebrating the […]

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I Wanted A Family

Some of us wanted to have a family. We wanted a partner, children, grandchildren. We wanted to live a life surrounded by our loved ones. It is painful to live without the longed-for family. For single people, longing to find a partner, to love and to be loved by just one person, it can be […]

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Happy Mother’s Day

To those who have never borne children But have carried a life inside them, Growing, growing, Only to have it snatched away Before its time. To those who have never known The sensation Of carrying another But who wanted it, Wished for it, Planned for it, Grieved for it. To those who have loved children, […]

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You Are Here

Do you remember those theme parks we used to go to as kids? For me it was Australia’s Wonderland. It was a city of wonder indeed, filled with fast rides, and rollercoasters, and water rides, and chilled rides, and fairy floss, and every other kind of kiddie delight. That place was a maze. It had […]

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As A Guilty Mum

I have just watched an ad selling iPads to children. Well, not to children, obviously, to their parents who actually pay for them. Part of the back-to-school marketing onslaught, presumably. The ad appeals, like most parent-targeted marketing, to the importance of giving children a head-start in life. On the surface, this sounds positive and desirable. […]

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Shared Spaces

  I recently went to a certain nonspecific health centre for some. . . uh. . . woman-related tests. My female readers will probably know what I mean. (My male readers may possibly know as well.) I showed up for my appointment, checked in at reception, and went and sat down in the pastel-coloured waiting […]

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New Fear’s Resolutions

Diets. Exercise. Stressing less. Every year people resolve to eat better, get fit and look after themselves. They set goals – realistic or otherwise – that reveal their hopes for the year that lies ahead. But for some of us, the coming of the new year is not heralded by fireworks and champagne. It is […]

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