By Design

A preacher once said to me, “If you are planted in the right environment, you will flourish.” He was speaking metaphorically, of course, comparing our lives with those of trees. The preacher suggested that different types of trees require different environments, different soils, different exposure to light and so on, in order to grow into […]

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It’s Not Just You

When I first asked for volunteers with stories of childlessness, I had no idea that so many people would respond. I also had no idea how many of those people would suffer from medical conditions. It seems that there is a high correlation between illness and childlessness. This was encouraging for me, given that I […]

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Need A Tow?

My car broke down yesterday. In the middle of traffic. On a major road. It was a warm, sunny day and the car decided to stop where it was in bumper-to-bumper traffic. It was the clutch. (My fault for driving a manual.) A clutch is supposed to operate in two phases: in and out. My […]

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“You Have No Idea”

My husband and I attended a church function recently. We were seated at a table with three other couples. As we sipped our drinks and awaited the arrival of dinner, the conversation turned to children. It turned out the other three couples were parents and grandparents. What could have been a lovely inclusive conversation turned […]

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Free-falling faith

  I recently resigned from my job. That’s right, chucked it in, without having another job to go to. I have resigned without the safety net of knowing where I am going next. This was not my plan. The plan was to find the next job, line it up neatly, then resign. I like my […]

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Finding my Fit

  When I was in my twenties, I did not fit because I was single. Everyone around me was married by the age of 21. It was like a team sport in my church. “No problem,” I thought, “It will just take me a little longer to find the right person. There’s no urgency anyway.” […]

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Did You Survive?

My social media feed one month ago was inundated with pre-Christmas survival-type blogs. You know the kind of thing: “7 tips to stress less this Christmas”, “How to spend time with family without wanting to kill them”, “How to make a killer Christmas lunch” and so on. My feed was full of tips and tricks […]

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Surviving Showers

There are a lot of celebrations designed to congratulate couples. There’s the engagement party, bridal shower, kitchen tea, hen’s night, buck’s night and of course the wedding. Dating couples get Valentine’s Day and married couples get the yearly wedding anniversary. Once kids come along, there’s a whole new plethora of celebrations to be enjoyed. Baby […]

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Beauty from Pain

During a recent interview for Surviving Childlessness, a childless woman told me about a song that helped her through the most painful time of her childlessness journey. I hope it will help others as I share it today. Beauty from Pain – by Superchick The lights go out all around me One last candle to […]

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Out of the In-Crowd

One of the problems that many single people face is social exclusion. A friend of mine at church once told me of an experience where she was explicitly told by a group of church friends: “We’re going out for dinner now, and you’re not invited because you’re single.” Then all of the couples in the […]

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