Childless-By-Forced-Choice

I was married for two years when I was diagnosed with lupus. I was thirty-one at the time. The lupus diagnosis came after eight years of mysterious symptoms and misdiagnoses. (In that respect, the diagnosis was a blessing.) It was not a shock. It finally gave me clarity on all the bizarre, seemingly coincidental medical […]

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Pass It On

I had a challenging time with childlessness at work this week. Normally I am fine with childlessness at work; I talk to parents all the time, no biggie. This week, we had a training day on learning to run a new group for parents. No problemo. I did not even think twice about it. On […]

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Did You Survive?

I think I survived Christmas. I mean, my heart is still beating, I am still breathing, so I guess I survived. All of my limbs are still attached, so I guess I’m still in one piece. Prior to Christmas, there was an onslaught of Christmas survival blogs, especially for single and childless people. Advice abounded, […]

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For Those Who Have No Children

There’s Christmas in the air, it’s clear, It’s magical, this time of year, Anticipation looming near – Unless you have no children. There’s Christmas ads for games and toys, To buy for every girl and boy. Too bad you’ll never have that joy – Because you have no children. There’s Christmas lights all over town, […]

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The Outsiders – Part 2 (A Worship & Creatives Conference Review)

I recently blogged about the outsiders: a group of people who do not fit into mainstream society. As an ex-single person, I remember being an outsider. As a childless person, I am still an outsider. As a creative, I have always been an outsider. Christians are definitely outsiders too. Today we explore another facet of […]

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Why I Still Go To Church

I recently received a thought-provoking reply to my blog, “Real Love”, from a person who seemed to think that Christianity was a life choice best avoided. My blog, addressing some of the unhelpful comments made by Christians toward the childless, seemed to prompt a reaction from this reader. This person’s response was along the lines […]

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“When Are You Going To Have Kids?”

When I was single, no-one asked me about having kids. No-one was interested in my plans for a family. No-one cared about my eggs and whether or not I was putting them to good use. For the first twenty-nine years of my life, no-one thought I was wasting my time or misusing my body. Then […]

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Real Love

“You will never know real love,” intoned the preacher, “Never experience the full extent of God’s love, until you have your own child.” I was a teenager then: young, passive and impressionable. The preacher’s words certainly made an impression on me that day. Gee, non-parents must miss out big time. These days, I am not […]

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Forced Choice

I had been married for two years when I was diagnosed with lupus. I was thirty-one years old at the time. My husband and I had decided to enjoy our time together before making any hurried decisions about family. Our deadline was to make a decision by the time I turned thirty-five. We were not […]

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What Not To Say

One thing people ask me about is how to talk to childless people. Specifically, people who are parents tell me they worry about saying the wrong thing to those who are childless. Such conversations can be a tricky bridge to cross. I can understand this. I have been the recipient of a few “wrong things” […]

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