This is an ode To the atypical fathers Who didn’t—couldn’t—have The biological children they wanted. Here’s to the adoptive fathers, The foster fathers, the step-fathers, The sponsor fathers. Here’s to the fathers Of neighbourhood children, Of close family friends’ kids, Of sports teams, Boy scouts and girl guides. Here’s to the surrogate fathers, The ones […]
spiritual
How To Pray for Chronic Illness
I recently had a great experience of prayer. A group of friends came over and prayed for my illness. Guess what? They didn’t pray that I would be healed. They didn’t assume what I wanted. Instead, they listened while I articulated my prayer needs. Then, gently and sensitively, they prayed as the Holy Spirit led […]
Singledom in the Church
‘So much of the church,’ said Desiree, ‘is about marriage.’ Desiree was giving a talk on singledom at C3 Ballina*, and I love that the first thing she does is acknowledge how much of church life is focused on and revolves around couples. (Disclaimer: Desiree also references my book, Surviving Singledom, so I am somewhat biased […]
Spiritual Children
‘To Timothy my true son in the faith: Grace, mercy and peace from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Lord.’ (1 Timothy 1:2) What will I see when I get to heaven? I am curious about what heaven will be like and the people I will meet there. I am sure I’ll see old […]
In Honour of Bereaved Mothers
This Sunday is International Bereaved Mother’s Day (first Sunday in May every year). In honour of bereaved mothers everywhere, I want to acknowledge the different kinds of bereaved mothers in our communities. The mothers who had a child or children and lost them. The mothers of stillborn babies. The mothers who lost pregnancies to miscarriage. […]
For Singles: Milestones Worth Celebrating
Single people frequently feel left out of major life milestones and celebrations. Married people get to have weddings, bridal showers, kitchen teas, Valentine’s Days and anniversaries. If they have children, they get baby showers, Mother’s and Father’s Days, and all their children’s milestones too: first steps, first words, starting school, first dates, graduation, first jobs, […]
Why Art Matters
I grew up believing art was the least important thing in life. Music, reading, writing—they all had to wait. Homework came first. I had to help with chores. The dog (or other pet-of-the-month) needed attention. Art sat securely at the bottom of my revolving to-do list. Don’t get me wrong, those other things were important. […]
My Favourite Things: When Church Does Childlessness Well
Churches often struggle to include childless people. They’re great at ministering to mothers and fathers and kids. But they often neglect those in the minority, those who didn’t follow the expected social and spiritual trajectory of getting married and making babies. I have a few choice stories about the bad and the ugly of church […]
Childless People Have ‘Real Families’ Too
I constantly read online rhetoric about ‘working families’. All too often, this means two adults with children. It is the mainstream, the norm, the personification of the popular-yet-mythical ‘nuclear family’. Of course, not all forms of family fall under this definition. Traditional assumptions view families as adults-plus-children, which excludes childless people and treats them as […]