‘You are coping so well,’ remarked my doctor. ‘Every time I see you, you’re always so positive and upbeat.’ ‘Maybe I should come in on a bad day!’ I shot back, laughing. But his words made me think. What does ‘coping’ mean? How do people interpret my happy front or humour as coping—or do they […]
love
Anniversary of a Furbaby
Portia died one year ago. It seems fitting to commemorate such an occasion with the sweetness of words, although I must acknowledge how far words fall short when it comes to capturing those we have loved and lost; their beauty, their quirks, and the empty places they leave in our hearts. This is not a […]
The Voice of Parliament
As Australia moves on from Easter and into national debates around the Voice of Parliament, we cannot help but contemplate affliction. The affliction of our First Nations people is in our faces, confronting us with the brutal reality of their mistreatment, abuse and abandonment. Stan Grant, Q+A presenter on the ABC and Aboriginal Christian man, has felt […]
Roller-Skate While You Can!
‘I have decided,’ announced my psychologist/coach friend, Krystyna Kidson, ‘to make the most of things while I have them. To that end, I’m going to learn to roller-skate!’* We were discussing life with chronic illness and, in particular, I was lamenting the loss of predictability and control. ‘How can I go on,’ I moaned, ‘when […]
Alternative Dates for Valentine’s Day
I have never liked Valentine’s Day. Not when I was single. Not now that I am married. To me, if you want to show someone you love them, including yourself, there is no reason to wait for a commercially driven fest like Valentine’s Day. You just do it. When I was single, I did just […]
A Story of Life
‘An unusual story of grief over a beloved pet and shared through cake and all things lemon. The ritual of death and new growth is wonderfully encapsulated through the lemon tree.’—Lorraine Marwood, Stories of Life judge and award-winning author Yesterday my short story, Love and Lemon Cake, won second prize in the Stories of Life competition (short story category). I […]
Unravelling
‘It’s God’s plan’, they say, As I quietly unravel, Wiping the tears discretely, So as not to interrupt Their conversation. I gather memories, images Of children I never had Like star clusters Sparkling in the black void. *** ‘It’s God’s plan’, they say, As I sidestep the awkward question About ‘family’, As I avoid the […]
God’s Plan?
I don’t know why so many people say the grief of childlessness is ‘God’s plan’. To be fair, when Christians say devastating events are ‘God’s plan’, I don’t think they mean God is a sadistic old so-and-so who is detached from our suffering and rather enjoys inflicting pain. (At least, I hope not.) Nor do I […]
Coping With Childlessness When Your Furbaby Dies
What do you do when your furbaby dies—especially when they were instrumental in coping with childlessness? My beautiful rescue cat, Portia, recently died. She was nineteen and had a few health problems, but a few months ago she went rapidly downhill with suspected renal failure. She went very peacefully in the end. Just like that, […]
Non-Mother’s Day
To all who dreamed of being a mother, raising a child, passing on your most prized possessions and values, I see you. To all who fantasised about shopping for tiny clothes, fitting out a nursery and singing lullabies, I see you. To all who chose names and schools and godparents, I see you. To all […]