‘How wonderful to express your pain through writing,’ people often enthuse. ‘It must be so cathartic!’ Yes—and no. On the one hand, I find it helpful to get my feelings onto paper or screen. Seeing things in black and white can give me clarity about my problems, not to mention perspective. Sometimes, when I write […]
keyboard
Here She is: the Angel At My Keyboard
Last year I wrote a song called Angel At My Keyboard, written about and for the daughter I never had. It tells the story of a little girl who learns to play the keyboard, and I teach her. Music becomes something we share. It’s total fantasy, of course, like most of our hopes and dreams for […]
I Don’t Want to Be a Piano Teacher
‘I really wanted to teach my daughter piano,’ I said to my friend. She looked thoughtful. ‘You know what,’ she ventured, ‘There are probably lots of kids in your church who would love to learn piano.’ ‘Oh yes, there are,’ I agreed. ‘Although I’m not sure I have the experience to teach them piano. And […]
Why I Sing When I’m Sad
I was recently interviewed for the Childless and Christian online conference, and while listening back to myself (which can be both horrifying and reassuring), I was struck by how creativity can help us in our grief. Five months ago, I was watching a movie when I was struck with an image of my daughter, the […]
Angel at my Keyboard
I had a childlessness-related wobble the other day. I was watching a soppy movie (don’t at me) and it ended with a father promising to teach his baby daughter how to play basketball. I’m not usually a fan of Hallmark treacle. I can’t stand the over-sentimentalism that dominates the genre of ‘family’ movies. But this […]