I’m not setting goals and plans for this year. I’m not making New Year’s Resolutions anymore. It’s not that I don’t believe in them, and if they help you, knock yourself out. But one thing chronic illness has taught me is that my goals and plans are often laughably unrealistic. These days, when I set […]
illness
The Need for Silent Night
Everyone is talking about self-care this Christmas. For each of us, self-care will look different, depending on our personality, holiday plans and personal circumstances. Personally, I am living with childlessness and chronic illness. (And a cat. So it is not all bad.) Which begs the question: how does a person with grief and sickness celebrate […]
Single and Sick
I recently took my husband to hospital for a day procedure. Afterwards, when we got back home and were recovering, he looked at me and said, ‘I can’t imagine how I would do this hospital stuff if I was still single!’ ‘I can’t imagine how I would do this hospital stuff if I was still […]
A Story of Life
‘An unusual story of grief over a beloved pet and shared through cake and all things lemon. The ritual of death and new growth is wonderfully encapsulated through the lemon tree.’—Lorraine Marwood, Stories of Life judge and award-winning author Yesterday my short story, Love and Lemon Cake, won second prize in the Stories of Life competition (short story category). I […]
Serving While I’m Sick
When I’m sick, I feel useless. I question my worth, and what’s worse, others question it too. I have to be a ‘contributing’ member of society, proving my value through usefulness and productivity. Even in church, there’s pressure to ‘contribute’ in some shape or form. So how do I contribute when I’m down for the […]
Stuck in the Middle
If you want a story with a happy ending—or indeed, any kind of ending—you’d better stop reading now. This story, like an unfinished symphony, is incomplete. I am still living this story; I do not know how it ends. All I know is I am currently stuck in the middle of a seemingly endless stretch […]
Radical Rest
We all dream of holidays. This photo was taken from a wonderful holiday of mine. We all fantasise about exotic escapes, island getaways, country retreats or just a quiet break at home. For those of us who holiday once a year, there is a distinct feeling of weary anticipation as the year nears its end. […]
In Honour of Bereaved Mothers
This Sunday is International Bereaved Mother’s Day (first Sunday in May every year). In honour of bereaved mothers everywhere, I want to acknowledge the different kinds of bereaved mothers in our communities. The mothers who had a child or children and lost them. The mothers of stillborn babies. The mothers who lost pregnancies to miscarriage. […]
Not Yet Resurrected
I have been sick for two weeks. At the start, I thought it was just a cold. Boy was I wrong. I have been struggling to breathe ever since. Every little thing causes my breathing to get worse, so I have been virtually living in lockdown. And I am no better. I finally made it […]
The Rage that Lives Inside the Grief
Chronic illness is wildly unfair. The relentless pain and fatigue and uncertainty about the future, let alone the never-ending medical appointments, is enough to quietly drive oneself out of one’s mind. (For some of us, that’s a short ride.) The losses of illness are pervasive. It is not just about losing flexible joints or a […]