‘How are you feeling?’ my friend asked as I walked into church. I jiggled a pair of dice in my head. When you live with a chronic illness, innocent queries after your health can backfire quickly. Well-meaning people can pray for healing that is not forthcoming, or I can get caught in a web of […]
healing
Why Living with Lupus is Like a Scavenger Hunt—Part 3
What about Faith? Faith can be a two-edged sword with chronic illness. On the one hand, God’s nearness and companionship have been a great comfort to me. On the other, God has not healed me of lupus. I have wrestled with this. After all, it would be a whole lot easier if God would simply […]
My Weird Testimony
‘I’ll pray for your healing,’ smiled the young woman. ‘Actually,’ I smiled back, ‘I think God has told me he’s not going to heal me.’ The woman frowned. ‘That’s not the God I know. My God would never deny me healing.’ ‘OK, let me tell you my weird testimony…’ In the not-too-distant past, I was […]
Chronic Illness is Lonelifying
‘My knees are shot,’ I explained to my shamefully fit friend. ‘You need to do more squats,’ she shot back. ‘I can’t.’ ‘Well,’ she said after a lengthy pause, ‘that’s a problem.’ Yes, it is. Arthritis in my knees in my forties is a significant problem. Especially when I’ve also got back problems and everyone […]
Join the (Childless) Club
It’s the club nobody wants to join. I certainly didn’t wake up one morning and think, ‘I’d really like to become part of the childless community today.’ Yet here we are. It can be hard to find childless people who are happy to share even a small part of their story. Harder still is finding […]
Prayer of a Disfigured Christian
“The servant grew up before God—a scrawny seedling, a scrubby plant in a parched field. There was nothing attractive about him, nothing to cause us to take a second look. He was looked down on and passed over, a man who suffered, who knew pain firsthand. One look at him and people turned away. We […]
Survival Skills: The God Who Allows Pain
‘Why does God allow suffering?’ is a common catch-cry in our society. Christians and non-Christians alike struggle with the concept of a God who either doesn’t seem to care about our pain, or who cares but appears powerless to intervene. For a Christian who believes God is all-powerful as well as all-caring, it’s a conundrum. […]
Survival Skills: Upending Ableism
‘You need to do more squats,’ said my friend. ‘When your muscles are stronger, your knees won’t hurt as much.’ I stared at her. ‘Yeah, no,’ I snorted. ‘I can’t actually do squats at all.’ ‘Well,’ she said, the cogs in her brain clearly struggling with the concept of someone being unable to do squats, […]
The Art of Silence
I live with chronic illness. And God hasn’t healed me. Admittedly, non-healing doesn’t seem to be much of a testimony. Yet God has brought some interesting things out of this illness experience, and perhaps they are worth sharing with you. In particular, I have had to get good at doing nothing whatsoever. My illness has […]
How To Pray for Chronic Illness
I recently had a great experience of prayer. A group of friends came over and prayed for my illness. Guess what? They didn’t pray that I would be healed. They didn’t assume what I wanted. Instead, they listened while I articulated my prayer needs. Then, gently and sensitively, they prayed as the Holy Spirit led […]