If you want a story with a happy ending—or indeed, any kind of ending—you’d better stop reading now. This story, like an unfinished symphony, is incomplete. I am still living this story; I do not know how it ends. All I know is I am currently stuck in the middle of a seemingly endless stretch […]
Surviving Chronic Illness
How My Rescue Cat Rescued Me
When I first bought my rescue cat, Portia, I thought I was doing a good thing. I saved her from death row, and I loved the idea of giving her a forever home. All the warm fuzzies. I had no idea she would save me. Portia was my companion in singledom. Portia was my companion […]
Radical Rest
We all dream of holidays. This photo was taken from a wonderful holiday of mine. We all fantasise about exotic escapes, island getaways, country retreats or just a quiet break at home. For those of us who holiday once a year, there is a distinct feeling of weary anticipation as the year nears its end. […]
Not Yet Resurrected
I have been sick for two weeks. At the start, I thought it was just a cold. Boy was I wrong. I have been struggling to breathe ever since. Every little thing causes my breathing to get worse, so I have been virtually living in lockdown. And I am no better. I finally made it […]
The Rage that Lives Inside the Grief
Chronic illness is wildly unfair. The relentless pain and fatigue and uncertainty about the future, let alone the never-ending medical appointments, is enough to quietly drive oneself out of one’s mind. (For some of us, that’s a short ride.) The losses of illness are pervasive. It is not just about losing flexible joints or a […]
Costly Worship
Have you ever worshiped God in the midst of tragedy? Or while you’re sick? Or in the throes of anxiety? Or in the middle of a pandemic? If so, you understand the cost of worship. You have paid the price of putting your own genuine needs aside in order to serve others. You know what […]
I Resolve to Retreat
I’m not setting any goals for this year. Living in a pandemic, I have learned that one can set goals that seem totally realistic one week but which can mutate into something completely impossible the next. My personal goals around publishing books, travel and even self-care plans have been decimated over the past two years. […]
Christmas and Caterpillar Soup
I pity the caterpillar. He spends his existence crawling around, eating leaves, only to eventually enter a cocoon where his body completely disintegrates. He liquifies. He turns into caterpillar soup. Of course, he then emerges as a beautiful butterfly, and a new chapter begins. But I wonder how he feels as he approaches the cocoon. […]
Why I Write About Childlessness
I relate to the boy with the loaves and fish. In John 6, Jesus fed a crowd of five thousand people by taking an anonymous boy’s food, five loaves of bread and two fish, and handing it out. Not only was everyone satisfied, they had twelve baskets full of leftovers. I feel like that as […]
What Would I Want the Next Generation of Christian Women to Know?
I was recently interviewed by Fixing Her Eyes* and they asked me a difficult question: What would I want to tell the next generation of Christian women? What would I want them to know? I believe this worthy question warrants more than the couple of paragraphs I originally wrote. So here goes. To Christian women […]