‘So, when are you guys gonna have kids?’ My friend’s question hit me square between the eyes. To say I was surprised would have been an understatement. I was freshly engaged, not yet married. Was it normal to be pestered by baby-related questions the minute one got engaged? Unfortunately, I am not alone in my […]
Surviving Singledom
Music is My IV
I’ve been listening to music during my latest illness flare. A lot. You could say music is my IV. Music has always been a lifeline for me. From childhood days when I would sing songs softly to God at bedtime, through teenaged years of alternate rock and angst-ridden folklore, to now when I sing for […]
Single AND Content? In This Economy?
It’s funny how contentment can shift as time passes. For years, I was content being single. People around me were getting married, having babies, trialling separation. I felt genuinely happy for them (or sympathetic, in the case of separation), without even a glimmer of jealousy or discontentment. Occasionally I felt lonely, living solo in my […]
Being Single is Now OK, Apparently
‘Single people must be valued at the heart of our society,’ declares a recent article in The Guardian*, boldly restating what many single people have been saying for years. The article, popularised on social media in recent weeks, highlights a report on a 2-year commission into relationships and family in the Church of England, ordered by […]
Singledom in the Church
‘So much of the church,’ said Desiree, ‘is about marriage.’ Desiree was giving a talk on singledom at C3 Ballina*, and I love that the first thing she does is acknowledge how much of church life is focused on and revolves around couples. (Disclaimer: Desiree also references my book, Surviving Singledom, so I am somewhat biased […]
Alternative Dates for Valentine’s Day
I have never liked Valentine’s Day. Not when I was single. Not now that I am married. To me, if you want to show someone you love them, including yourself, there is no reason to wait for a commercially driven fest like Valentine’s Day. You just do it. When I was single, I did just […]
Single and Sick
I recently took my husband to hospital for a day procedure. Afterwards, when we got back home and were recovering, he looked at me and said, ‘I can’t imagine how I would do this hospital stuff if I was still single!’ ‘I can’t imagine how I would do this hospital stuff if I was still […]
Coping With Childlessness When Your Furbaby Dies
What do you do when your furbaby dies—especially when they were instrumental in coping with childlessness? My beautiful rescue cat, Portia, recently died. She was nineteen and had a few health problems, but a few months ago she went rapidly downhill with suspected renal failure. She went very peacefully in the end. Just like that, […]
The Benefits of Being Single
‘Sometimes I wish everyone were single like me—a simpler life in many ways! But celibacy is not for everyone any more than marriage is. God gives the gift of the single life to some, the gift of the married life to others.’ (1 Corinthians 7:7 MSG) This famous (or infamous, depending on who you talk […]
How My Rescue Cat Rescued Me
When I first bought my rescue cat, Portia, I thought I was doing a good thing. I saved her from death row, and I loved the idea of giving her a forever home. All the warm fuzzies. I had no idea she would save me. Portia was my companion in singledom. Portia was my companion […]