My arm is in a sling. I can’t use it. I can’t drive anywhere. I can’t wash the dishes. Cutting up food is out. I can only eat things that can be prepared and consumed single-handedly. I can’t even shave properly. And don’t ask me about showering and toileting. I’ve been typing all week with […]
Surviving Chronic Illness
His Disfigurements
‘We looked down on him, thought he was scum. But the fact is, it was our pains he carried— our disfigurements, all the things wrong with us. We thought he brought it on himself, that God was punishing him for his own failures. But it was our sins that did that to him, that ripped and tore and crushed […]
Roller-Skate While You Can!
‘I have decided,’ announced my psychologist/coach friend, Krystyna Kidson, ‘to make the most of things while I have them. To that end, I’m going to learn to roller-skate!’* We were discussing life with chronic illness and, in particular, I was lamenting the loss of predictability and control. ‘How can I go on,’ I moaned, ‘when […]
What Are Your Hopes for 2023?
I’m not setting goals and plans for this year. I’m not making New Year’s Resolutions anymore. It’s not that I don’t believe in them, and if they help you, knock yourself out. But one thing chronic illness has taught me is that my goals and plans are often laughably unrealistic. These days, when I set […]
The Need for Silent Night
Everyone is talking about self-care this Christmas. For each of us, self-care will look different, depending on our personality, holiday plans and personal circumstances. Personally, I am living with childlessness and chronic illness. (And a cat. So it is not all bad.) Which begs the question: how does a person with grief and sickness celebrate […]
Why Diagnosis Was a Relief For Me—and When Getting Better is Hard
Being diagnosed with a lifelong condition is a source of grief for many people. But diagnosis was actually a relief for me—and my grief sometimes gets worse when I get better, not just when I get sicker. I am unfortunate enough to be living with an absolute monster of an autoimmune disease commonly known as […]
Single and Sick
I recently took my husband to hospital for a day procedure. Afterwards, when we got back home and were recovering, he looked at me and said, ‘I can’t imagine how I would do this hospital stuff if I was still single!’ ‘I can’t imagine how I would do this hospital stuff if I was still […]
Serving While I’m Sick
When I’m sick, I feel useless. I question my worth, and what’s worse, others question it too. I have to be a ‘contributing’ member of society, proving my value through usefulness and productivity. Even in church, there’s pressure to ‘contribute’ in some shape or form. So how do I contribute when I’m down for the […]
Stuck in the Middle
If you want a story with a happy ending—or indeed, any kind of ending—you’d better stop reading now. This story, like an unfinished symphony, is incomplete. I am still living this story; I do not know how it ends. All I know is I am currently stuck in the middle of a seemingly endless stretch […]
How My Rescue Cat Rescued Me
When I first bought my rescue cat, Portia, I thought I was doing a good thing. I saved her from death row, and I loved the idea of giving her a forever home. All the warm fuzzies. I had no idea she would save me. Portia was my companion in singledom. Portia was my companion […]