I started writing because I was angry. A lot of writers tell you not to do that. They say anger is a lousy motivation. They say if you write while angry, the anger will leak out onto your pages. Bring it on, I say. Frankly, I don’t care about a writer’s motivation. Many people are […]
Singledom
I’m Not a ‘Career Woman’
‘How come you’re still single?’ probed my not-so-subtle colleague. ‘You must be one of those career women!’ Groan. If I had a proverbial dollar for every time someone assumed I’m a ‘career woman’…I’d be at least one dollar richer. Seriously, what’s with the assumption that single women are career women by default? Aren’t we allowed […]
Is Singledom A ‘Season’?
‘Don’t worry, your singleness is just for a season,’ my friend reassured me. ‘Why don’t you use this season to work on yourself?’ Ugh. There is so much in these two seemingly innocuous sentences that irks me. Beyond the misconception that once you work on yourself the right partner will magically appear, summoned by your […]
Music is My IV
I’ve been listening to music during my latest illness flare. A lot. You could say music is my IV. Music has always been a lifeline for me. From childhood days when I would sing songs softly to God at bedtime, through teenaged years of alternate rock and angst-ridden folklore, to now when I sing for […]
Single AND Content? In This Economy?
It’s funny how contentment can shift as time passes. For years, I was content being single. People around me were getting married, having babies, trialling separation. I felt genuinely happy for them (or sympathetic, in the case of separation), without even a glimmer of jealousy or discontentment. Occasionally I felt lonely, living solo in my […]
Being Single is Now OK, Apparently
‘Single people must be valued at the heart of our society,’ declares a recent article in The Guardian*, boldly restating what many single people have been saying for years. The article, popularised on social media in recent weeks, highlights a report on a 2-year commission into relationships and family in the Church of England, ordered by […]
Singledom in the Church
‘So much of the church,’ said Desiree, ‘is about marriage.’ Desiree was giving a talk on singledom at C3 Ballina*, and I love that the first thing she does is acknowledge how much of church life is focused on and revolves around couples. (Disclaimer: Desiree also references my book, Surviving Singledom, so I am somewhat biased […]
Single and Sick
I recently took my husband to hospital for a day procedure. Afterwards, when we got back home and were recovering, he looked at me and said, ‘I can’t imagine how I would do this hospital stuff if I was still single!’ ‘I can’t imagine how I would do this hospital stuff if I was still […]
Coping With Childlessness When Your Furbaby Dies
What do you do when your furbaby dies—especially when they were instrumental in coping with childlessness? My beautiful rescue cat, Portia, recently died. She was nineteen and had a few health problems, but a few months ago she went rapidly downhill with suspected renal failure. She went very peacefully in the end. Just like that, […]
The Benefits of Being Single
‘Sometimes I wish everyone were single like me—a simpler life in many ways! But celibacy is not for everyone any more than marriage is. God gives the gift of the single life to some, the gift of the married life to others.’ (1 Corinthians 7:7 MSG) This famous (or infamous, depending on who you talk […]