For Singles: Milestones Worth Celebrating

Single people frequently feel left out of major life milestones and celebrations. Married people get to have weddings, bridal showers, kitchen teas, Valentine’s Days and anniversaries. If they have children, they get baby showers, Mother’s and Father’s Days, and all their children’s milestones too: first steps, first words, starting school, first dates, graduation, first jobs, […]

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False Hope or False Economy?

When I was single, I was the unwitting recipient of false hope. ‘It will happen for you.’‘You’ll meet someone.’‘You’re gonna make some man very happy one day!’ And of course, the trump card from Christian friends: ‘God will not deny you the desire of your heart.’ The same thing happens to childless people as well. […]

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*When* You Have Kids…

Why do people say, ‘When you have kids…’ as though they know my future? It’s just as annoying as, ‘When you get married…’ Such blanket statements bely an assumption that we are all the same and will all follow the same trajectory in life: get married, have kids, raise them, kick them out of home […]

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Real Family

Ugh. It’s Valentine’s Day again. The time when everyone worships at the altar of dating, romance and marriage. The time when talk of ‘family’ means you have to have a partner (and usually children too). I can’t stand it.  And I’m one of the marrieds.  My heart goes out to single people this time of […]

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Christmas and Caterpillar Soup

I pity the caterpillar. He spends his existence crawling around, eating leaves, only to eventually enter a cocoon where his body completely disintegrates. He liquifies. He turns into caterpillar soup. Of course, he then emerges as a beautiful butterfly, and a new chapter begins.  But I wonder how he feels as he approaches the cocoon. […]

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Cards and Conversations

‘My wife has drifted from the Lord,’ the man said softly. ‘Would you say a prayer for her?’  ‘Of course I will.’  I wrote down the man’s name and the name of his wife in my little notebook, the one I always carry to book signings. The man bought a copy of my book and […]

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To Argue or Not To Argue…On Social Media?

I usually avoid online arguments like the plague.  Don’t get me wrong, a lot of arguments on social media are worthy. Things like ‘Is COVID-19 Real?’ and ‘Who is Keeping Our Government Accountable?’ and ‘What is Your Favourite Musical and Why is it Hamilton?’  Then there are religious debates. The place of LGBQTI+ people in […]

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Stories of Singledom

It never ceases to amaze me how society pressures single people to ‘just’ get married.  I hear it anecdotally in the stories told by single people who get called ‘fussy’ or ‘picky’. I hear it in singles asking aloud why they’re still single. I read it in social media complaints about the lack of eligible […]

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My Favourite Things: When Church Does Childlessness Well

Churches often struggle to include childless people. They’re great at ministering to mothers and fathers and kids. But they often neglect those in the minority, those who didn’t follow the expected social and spiritual trajectory of getting married and making babies.  I have a few choice stories about the bad and the ugly of church […]

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Singledom and Social Media

I recently left a singles-focused social media group. Or, to be more accurate, I was asked to leave and re-join, something I was not prepared to do (due to personal circumstances). So I left altogether.  In a way, I am glad. I have noticed this group seems particularly fond of positive singledom narratives. You know, […]

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