If you want a story with a happy ending—or indeed, any kind of ending—you’d better stop reading now. This story, like an unfinished symphony, is incomplete. I am still living this story; I do not know how it ends. All I know is I am currently stuck in the middle of a seemingly endless stretch […]
loss
Non-Mother’s Day
To all who dreamed of being a mother, raising a child, passing on your most prized possessions and values, I see you. To all who fantasised about shopping for tiny clothes, fitting out a nursery and singing lullabies, I see you. To all who chose names and schools and godparents, I see you. To all […]
In Honour of Bereaved Mothers
This Sunday is International Bereaved Mother’s Day (first Sunday in May every year). In honour of bereaved mothers everywhere, I want to acknowledge the different kinds of bereaved mothers in our communities. The mothers who had a child or children and lost them. The mothers of stillborn babies. The mothers who lost pregnancies to miscarriage. […]
The Rage that Lives Inside the Grief
Chronic illness is wildly unfair. The relentless pain and fatigue and uncertainty about the future, let alone the never-ending medical appointments, is enough to quietly drive oneself out of one’s mind. (For some of us, that’s a short ride.) The losses of illness are pervasive. It is not just about losing flexible joints or a […]
That’s Risky
There is risk inherent in sharing your story. Speaking up about childlessness is risky. What will people think of you? What will they say? Will they exclude you, mock you, reject you? The risk is real. And that’s not the only risk childless people face. There are risks involved in trying to get pregnant—and in […]
Overcome With Grief
‘Jesus called loudly, “Father, I place my life in your hands!” Then he breathed his last…All who had come around as spectators to watch the show, when they saw what actually happened, were overcome with grief and headed home. Those who knew Jesus well, along with the woman who had followed him from Galilee, stood […]