Pop Francis recently got into hot water over his comments that people without children or ‘just one’ child are ‘selfish’, and that having pets instead of children ‘diminishes us, it takes away our humanity’ (see the full article here: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2022/jan/05/pope-couples-choose-pets-children-selfish). This provoked an onslaught of outraged online responses, particularly from the childless and childfree communities. Including […]
grief
Christmas and Caterpillar Soup
I pity the caterpillar. He spends his existence crawling around, eating leaves, only to eventually enter a cocoon where his body completely disintegrates. He liquifies. He turns into caterpillar soup. Of course, he then emerges as a beautiful butterfly, and a new chapter begins. But I wonder how he feels as he approaches the cocoon. […]
I Don’t Want to Be a Piano Teacher
‘I really wanted to teach my daughter piano,’ I said to my friend. She looked thoughtful. ‘You know what,’ she ventured, ‘There are probably lots of kids in your church who would love to learn piano.’ ‘Oh yes, there are,’ I agreed. ‘Although I’m not sure I have the experience to teach them piano. And […]
Legacies of Faith: The God Who Weeps
It’s Mother’s Day again. My church is holding a Mother’s Day service. Other childless Christians might appreciate the dilemma this presents. On the one hand, I love my church and want to be part of it. On the other hand, Mother’s Day can be one of the toughest days in the calendar year. There are […]
Why I Write About Childlessness
I relate to the boy with the loaves and fish. In John 6, Jesus fed a crowd of five thousand people by taking an anonymous boy’s food, five loaves of bread and two fish, and handing it out. Not only was everyone satisfied, they had twelve baskets full of leftovers. I feel like that as […]
Why I Sing When I’m Sad
I was recently interviewed for the Childless and Christian online conference, and while listening back to myself (which can be both horrifying and reassuring), I was struck by how creativity can help us in our grief. Five months ago, I was watching a movie when I was struck with an image of my daughter, the […]
Surviving Childlessness—Faith
Following God into ministry or into the mission field requires incredible faith. So does following God into a job in construction or a management position or a university course. And following God into childlessness requires faith too. Every Christian’s journey calls for extraordinary trust in God. Our faith overflows to our circumstances, our relationships, every […]
That’s Risky
There is risk inherent in sharing your story. Speaking up about childlessness is risky. What will people think of you? What will they say? Will they exclude you, mock you, reject you? The risk is real. And that’s not the only risk childless people face. There are risks involved in trying to get pregnant—and in […]
3 Reasons I Love Book Launches
What’s not to love about a book launch? Meeting people, getting to talk for a long time, people hanging on your every word. Book launches are a great ego trip. And you might sell copies of your book too! In fact, I love book launches so much that this time around I’m holding two of […]
You’re ‘Lucky’
I have been told I’m lucky for not having kids. Usually this is in the context of well-meaning friends sharing their heartache over their kids going off the rails. They lament to me about their heartache and then say something along the lines of ‘You’re lucky you don’t have to deal with that’ or ‘You’re […]