Look to the animal kingdom. They know what to do when the cold weather sets in. They know instinctively how to respond when the icy wind whips through the streets and under our doors, slicing through our clothing like knives, making us shiver with the effort of keeping warm. The animals have a plan when […]
chronic illness
Finding Rest
I received so many comments in response to last weeks’ blog that I figured they warranted their own blog! It seems many readers could relate to the concept of rest not being restful whether because of chronic illness, pain, fatigue or sleep problems. It’s good to know we are not alone. Here follows the helpful […]
When Rest is Not Restful
There’s no rest for the wicked—or the chronically ill. When friends tell me, ‘Take care,’ or ‘Look after yourself,’ I seldom know how to respond. It’s hard to take care of myself when I live with chronic illness. Things can flare without warning. Pain can knock me sideways. Sometimes I have to say no to […]
Coping or Numbing?
‘You are coping so well,’ remarked my doctor. ‘Every time I see you, you’re always so positive and upbeat.’ ‘Maybe I should come in on a bad day!’ I shot back, laughing. But his words made me think. What does ‘coping’ mean? How do people interpret my happy front or humour as coping—or do they […]
When Surgery is a Blessing
My arm is in a sling. I can’t use it. I can’t drive anywhere. I can’t wash the dishes. Cutting up food is out. I can only eat things that can be prepared and consumed single-handedly. I can’t even shave properly. And don’t ask me about showering and toileting. I’ve been typing all week with […]
Multiplication Challenges—Or Are They?
‘How do you deal with being childless at church?’ a friend recently asked me. ‘Do people put pressure on you to “Be fruitful and multiply”?’ I nodded emphatically. ‘You betcha. Happens all the time.’ Her eyes widened. ‘How do you deal with that?’ It’s a good question, isn’t it? What is the best way to […]
Welcoming Vulnerability?
Why do we struggle with vulnerability so badly? I find myself constantly coming up against the vulnerability of mystery in my life: the mystery of why I was single for so long (it felt interminable at the time), the risk of pregnancy going badly wrong, the insanity of chronic illness, and the way God sometimes […]
Roller-Skate While You Can!
‘I have decided,’ announced my psychologist/coach friend, Krystyna Kidson, ‘to make the most of things while I have them. To that end, I’m going to learn to roller-skate!’* We were discussing life with chronic illness and, in particular, I was lamenting the loss of predictability and control. ‘How can I go on,’ I moaned, ‘when […]
What Are Your Hopes for 2023?
I’m not setting goals and plans for this year. I’m not making New Year’s Resolutions anymore. It’s not that I don’t believe in them, and if they help you, knock yourself out. But one thing chronic illness has taught me is that my goals and plans are often laughably unrealistic. These days, when I set […]
Why Diagnosis Was a Relief For Me—and When Getting Better is Hard
Being diagnosed with a lifelong condition is a source of grief for many people. But diagnosis was actually a relief for me—and my grief sometimes gets worse when I get better, not just when I get sicker. I am unfortunate enough to be living with an absolute monster of an autoimmune disease commonly known as […]