‘How are you feeling?’ my friend asked as I walked into church. I jiggled a pair of dice in my head. When you live with a chronic illness, innocent queries after your health can backfire quickly. Well-meaning people can pray for healing that is not forthcoming, or I can get caught in a web of […]
Christian
Why Childlessness Doesn’t Make You a Bad Advert for God
‘God wants you to be fruitful and multiply.’ ‘Sex is only for procreation.’ ‘Motherhood is the greatest gift God can give you.’ There’s pressure in Christian circles to have children. Don’t believe me? I’ve been subjected to each of the above. In fact, I’ve been told in no uncertain terms that I’m in sin if […]
Bad Adverts for God: Singledom
‘You should be content with your singledom.’ ‘God wants you to use this time to develop yourself.’ ‘Enjoy it while it lasts!’ These are just some of the messages I received while I was single. It wouldn’t have been so bad if I had agreed with them. (It also would not have been so bad […]
Dating: Good Traits and Red Flags (Part 1)
In my time of participating in the dating world and hearing about friends’ dating experiences, I’ve gathered a collection of worthy traits to look for in a partner. I’ve also gained some hard-won wisdom about red flags (haven’t we all?) when deciding whether to continue in a relationship—or whether to run! When considering dating, it’s […]
Myths of Singledom
I met my husband later in life: I was twenty-nine. OK, that may not sound like a ‘late’ marriage, but in my church circles everyone was married by the ripe old age of twenty-one. At twenty-nine, I was considered practically retired. Or a leper. During those years of singledom, I encountered some interesting myths and […]
Survival Skills: It’s Not Fair!
There are times when I get super jealous of able-bodied people. There, I said it. As much as envy is not exactly a fruit of the Spirit, this try-hard Christian experiences jealousy on a semi-regular basis. I feel it watching other people climb stairs without a problem. I experience it when friends regale me with […]
Prayer of a Disfigured Christian
“The servant grew up before God—a scrawny seedling, a scrubby plant in a parched field. There was nothing attractive about him, nothing to cause us to take a second look. He was looked down on and passed over, a man who suffered, who knew pain firsthand. One look at him and people turned away. We […]
Survival Skills: The God Who Allows Pain
‘Why does God allow suffering?’ is a common catch-cry in our society. Christians and non-Christians alike struggle with the concept of a God who either doesn’t seem to care about our pain, or who cares but appears powerless to intervene. For a Christian who believes God is all-powerful as well as all-caring, it’s a conundrum. […]
Not Your Typical Self-Help Book (Thank God)
I can’t stand self-help books. You know the ones that advertise ‘Seven Steps to a Completely Successful Life’ and ‘Nine Ways to Be the Best Christian Ever’? Yep, not a fan. It’s not that I think these topics are trite or unworthy of our time. Quite the opposite. These are hugely important discussions for us […]
Is Singledom A ‘Season’?
‘Don’t worry, your singleness is just for a season,’ my friend reassured me. ‘Why don’t you use this season to work on yourself?’ Ugh. There is so much in these two seemingly innocuous sentences that irks me. Beyond the misconception that once you work on yourself the right partner will magically appear, summoned by your […]