Why do we struggle with vulnerability so badly? I find myself constantly coming up against the vulnerability of mystery in my life: the mystery of why I was single for so long (it felt interminable at the time), the risk of pregnancy going badly wrong, the insanity of chronic illness, and the way God sometimes […]
The Snail
Sitting in my garden I watch the indefatigable snail As it inches its way Along the fence, Its feelers straining forward Touching the surface With the softest kiss And now another And another. It reaches for the next panel, Its body absorbed in the effort, The sunlight glinting off its shell And the silvery trail […]
Roller-Skate While You Can!
‘I have decided,’ announced my psychologist/coach friend, Krystyna Kidson, ‘to make the most of things while I have them. To that end, I’m going to learn to roller-skate!’* We were discussing life with chronic illness and, in particular, I was lamenting the loss of predictability and control. ‘How can I go on,’ I moaned, ‘when […]
Alternative Dates for Valentine’s Day
I have never liked Valentine’s Day. Not when I was single. Not now that I am married. To me, if you want to show someone you love them, including yourself, there is no reason to wait for a commercially driven fest like Valentine’s Day. You just do it. When I was single, I did just […]
Not Alone and Other Stories
I recently read the Stories of Life anthology, Bones and Blue Eyes,* mostly because (shameless self-plug alert) I had two stories published in it, but also because I was genuinely interested in other people’s stories of everyday faith. The book was a blessing. There was a vast mixture of stories short and long, telling tales when […]
Writing Tribe
I love my tribe of writers. We meet once every couple of months with local fellow writers, and we have an international conference every year. We are Christians of all ages, all personality types, and all writing genres. I suppose some would consider this group an extra commitment, like a chore. But for me, it’s […]
Travelling Childlessly
One of my parenting dreams was taking my children travelling. I always enjoyed travelling as a kid: the early morning starts when it is still dark, the air is cold and crisp, and the first stirrings of insects prelude the dawn chorus; the long sleeps in the car, and rambunctious singing along to cassette tapes […]
How ‘Two Sisters and a Brain Tumour’ Helped Me
I recently read Two Sisters and a Brain Tumour, a memoir by author friend Emily J. Maurits. Even though it was about a brain tumour, I enjoyed reading it—probably because it was about so much more than that. The author takes us on a journey through her relationship with her sister, with all the tension and […]
What Are Your Hopes for 2023?
I’m not setting goals and plans for this year. I’m not making New Year’s Resolutions anymore. It’s not that I don’t believe in them, and if they help you, knock yourself out. But one thing chronic illness has taught me is that my goals and plans are often laughably unrealistic. These days, when I set […]
The Need for Silent Night
Everyone is talking about self-care this Christmas. For each of us, self-care will look different, depending on our personality, holiday plans and personal circumstances. Personally, I am living with childlessness and chronic illness. (And a cat. So it is not all bad.) Which begs the question: how does a person with grief and sickness celebrate […]