People-People

I love people-watching. Not in a creepy way. In a lazy, dreamy, casual observer sort of way.  I’m people-watching right now. I’m sitting alone in a café, under fluorescent lights, listening to the hum of busy shoppers all around me. I watch the steam curl upwards from my cup of tea as I ponder the […]

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Is There a ‘Better’ Story of Singledom?

I love inspirational stories of singledom. Over the years I have encountered stories of happy soloism, single missionaries, and female pastors (not pastor’s wives) without husbands. I have met singles who truly believe they have the gift of singleness. I personally know singles who have ditched the whole I’ll-wait-till-I’m-married approach to life. They have seized […]

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What’s in a Name? 

I was recently inspired by Bella DePaulo’s blog, Alone, Unattached and Other Wrong Terms for Single People[i]. This blog touched on some of the unhelpful names we give single people, names that imply singles are less-than the rest of society or missing something vital. I can relate to this. When I was single, people referred […]

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Introducing Me

I recently spent some virtual time with author Craig Wynne discussing his book How to be a Happy Bachelor. We talked about how awkward it can be to talk about singledom and childlessness. Especially with people who are not single or childless themselves. Craig made the point that such conversations can be difficult because people […]

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The Double-Whammy

We recently celebrated World Childless Week, and it was fabulous. I loved hearing stories from men and women, stories of grief and loss, stories of solidarity and love, stories of re-invention and renewal, stories in poetry and colour and narrative. The warmth and generosity of spirit was moving. And this week is Singles’ Week. This […]

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Valuable Connections

When I was single, I attended a small community church and they welcomed me as one of their own. It felt like I had been part of the family for years, maybe even decades. They were like a spiritual family to me. So readily did they embrace me that one particular family included me in […]

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A Countercultural Conversation with Craig Wynne

Twelve years ago I was a frustrated singleton. I went shopping for books on the subject, but I found, to my dismay, there was not much out there. This was the inspiration behind my book, Surviving Singledom. Since then, to my relief, more and more books have come out about surviving, embracing and celebrating the […]

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Single vs Pre-Married

I walked into church and was greeted by an usher. ‘Hiya Steph,’ he said cheerfully, ‘How’s your love life?’ Oh no. You did not just ask me that. My sarcastic inner voice nearly replied out loud. ‘It’s great. Who are you, by the way?’ This man barely knew me. We were not close, yet he […]

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I Wanted A Family

Some of us wanted to have a family. We wanted a partner, children, grandchildren. We wanted to live a life surrounded by our loved ones. It is painful to live without the longed-for family. For single people, longing to find a partner, to love and to be loved by just one person, it can be […]

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Is Singledom Temporary?

‘When are you going to get married?’ Society, especially Christians, seem to view singledom as a temporary state. Singles are constantly inundated with questions about their love lives and relationship plans. I remember, when I was single, random strangers would ask invasive questions about blokes on my horizon. Like it was any of their business. […]

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