When Illness Kills Your Carpe Diem

Chronic illness sucks. Some days are not too bad, and it just sits quietly in the wings, biding its time. Then there are days like I had last week, when it kicks your legs out from under you. I was sitting at an appointment. It was a long sit. Three hours, to be exact. The […]

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Why Perfectionism and Chronic Illness Don’t Mix

I am a born perfectionist. I grew up with the work-hard, follow-the-rules, be-a-good-Christian-girl mentality. I walk into a room and spot the dirt. I hear when a singer is singing flat. I notice spelling mistakes in books. I am not looking for these things, but they are the first things I see. Perfectionism is based […]

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The Waiting Room

I spent this morning in a waiting room. Not coz I had nothing better to do. And not coz there was anything wrong with me. Thank you kindly for asking. It was for my cat. Yes, the things you do for love. While I was waiting for my cat to be seen, I got thinking […]

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Put It On My Tab

I heard a story yesterday about resilience. Apparently there was a man born without hands or legs. We are talking lifelong disability here. One day he was out in the snow, and when he came in, he said, “Brrr it’s cold! I’m so cold I can’t feel my hands.” But seriously folks. . . As […]

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Imprisoned

There are times in my wonderful, creative, blessed life when I feel imprisoned. I know I am a free white person and I understand the social and political privileges that come with that. But. I am living with chronic illness. And there are days when I feel caged in on all sides. Chronic illness is […]

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Lupus Is Easy

I’m pretty annoyed as I write this. Actually, I’m livid. It is not every day someone makes a comment that gets me this riled up. Except for a doctor who minimises my experience of chronic illness. I have been avoiding finding a new GP. But last week it was necessary. My chronic illness flared up […]

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Childless-By-Forced-Choice

I was married for two years when I was diagnosed with lupus. I was thirty-one at the time. The lupus diagnosis came after eight years of mysterious symptoms and misdiagnoses. (In that respect, the diagnosis was a blessing.) It was not a shock. It finally gave me clarity on all the bizarre, seemingly coincidental medical […]

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Forced Choice

I had been married for two years when I was diagnosed with lupus. I was thirty-one years old at the time. My husband and I had decided to enjoy our time together before making any hurried decisions about family. Our deadline was to make a decision by the time I turned thirty-five. We were not […]

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By Design

A preacher once said to me, “If you are planted in the right environment, you will flourish.” He was speaking metaphorically, of course, comparing our lives with those of trees. The preacher suggested that different types of trees require different environments, different soils, different exposure to light and so on, in order to grow into […]

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When God Heals

Turn back the clock to 6 years ago. I came down with a vocal problem that wouldn’t go away. For a singer, a vocal issue can be quite alarming. It conjures up images of botched surgery and a voice that is potentially ruined for life. Most of us have heard of singing celebrities who are […]

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