I woke up with a niggle in my chest. It’s fine, I told myself. I took pain killers anyway. They I laid down to rest, but the pain became rapidly worse. So I got up, sat on the couch, and began praying that the pain killers would kick in really soon. Twenty minutes later I […]
music
Music is My IV
I’ve been listening to music during my latest illness flare. A lot. You could say music is my IV. Music has always been a lifeline for me. From childhood days when I would sing songs softly to God at bedtime, through teenaged years of alternate rock and angst-ridden folklore, to now when I sing for […]
Roller-Skate While You Can!
‘I have decided,’ announced my psychologist/coach friend, Krystyna Kidson, ‘to make the most of things while I have them. To that end, I’m going to learn to roller-skate!’* We were discussing life with chronic illness and, in particular, I was lamenting the loss of predictability and control. ‘How can I go on,’ I moaned, ‘when […]
Why Art Matters
I grew up believing art was the least important thing in life. Music, reading, writing—they all had to wait. Homework came first. I had to help with chores. The dog (or other pet-of-the-month) needed attention. Art sat securely at the bottom of my revolving to-do list. Don’t get me wrong, those other things were important. […]
I Don’t Want to Be a Piano Teacher
‘I really wanted to teach my daughter piano,’ I said to my friend. She looked thoughtful. ‘You know what,’ she ventured, ‘There are probably lots of kids in your church who would love to learn piano.’ ‘Oh yes, there are,’ I agreed. ‘Although I’m not sure I have the experience to teach them piano. And […]
Living Waters of Creativity
‘It’s a good song,’ he said to her, ‘It’s just the first verse that needs a little more work.’ We were sitting in a semi-circle, me and a handful of other Christian songwriters. One woman had taken the courageous step of sharing her song with us. We were in the delicate process of giving her […]
Why I Sing When I’m Sad
I was recently interviewed for the Childless and Christian online conference, and while listening back to myself (which can be both horrifying and reassuring), I was struck by how creativity can help us in our grief. Five months ago, I was watching a movie when I was struck with an image of my daughter, the […]
Angel at my Keyboard
I had a childlessness-related wobble the other day. I was watching a soppy movie (don’t at me) and it ended with a father promising to teach his baby daughter how to play basketball. I’m not usually a fan of Hallmark treacle. I can’t stand the over-sentimentalism that dominates the genre of ‘family’ movies. But this […]