*When* You Have Kids…

Why do people say, ‘When you have kids…’ as though they know my future? It’s just as annoying as, ‘When you get married…’ Such blanket statements bely an assumption that we are all the same and will all follow the same trajectory in life: get married, have kids, raise them, kick them out of home […]

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If You Really Wanted Kids…

‘If you really wanted kids, you would do whatever it takes to have them. And if it was meant to be, it would have happened by now.’  Yes, there are people in the world who still think this is helpful advice to give to childless people.  Where do I begin with dissecting this twaddle?  OK, […]

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My Favourite Things: When Church Does Childlessness Well

Churches often struggle to include childless people. They’re great at ministering to mothers and fathers and kids. But they often neglect those in the minority, those who didn’t follow the expected social and spiritual trajectory of getting married and making babies.  I have a few choice stories about the bad and the ugly of church […]

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Legacies of Faith: The God Who Weeps

It’s Mother’s Day again. My church is holding a Mother’s Day service.  Other childless Christians might appreciate the dilemma this presents.  On the one hand, I love my church and want to be part of it. On the other hand, Mother’s Day can be one of the toughest days in the calendar year. There are […]

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You’re ‘Lucky’

I have been told I’m lucky for not having kids.  Usually this is in the context of well-meaning friends sharing their heartache over their kids going off the rails. They lament to me about their heartache and then say something along the lines of ‘You’re lucky you don’t have to deal with that’ or ‘You’re […]

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Childless-By-Forced-Choice

Childless-not-by-choice. Childless-by-circumstance. Childfree. There are many terms used to describe those who do not have children. It can be hard to know where one fits in the no-kids community, let alone society in general. A childless friend once told me I am childless-by-circumstance because of my medical condition. They said it was a unique circumstance […]

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