I hold reservations about making new resolutions each year. Not just because the new resolutions often sound much like the old ones, and not just because of the deafening sound of resolutions shattering all about us by January 3rd. It’s more about how our resolutions are often unrealistic and unsustainable. Resolutions are often unrealistic and […]
illness
The Grief of Cancelled Plans
I look into the empty starless night, The blackened expanse reflecting The void in my own heart. The place where gatherings, meals, Conversation, laughter, exchanges of gifts Should have lived. Now disappointment reigns— The disappointment of cancellation After cancellation, Where plans were made, Postponed, And cancelled again. Not for unwillingness or indecision, But for illness, […]
A Lonelifying Christmas
Merry Christmas To the bodies that let us down At the most wonderful time Of the year. *** Merry Christmas To the illnesses that strike During last-minute shopping, To the last-minute doctor’s appointments, To the hope that this is nothing serious. *** Merry Christmas To the cancelled plans, Disappointed relatives, Uneaten food. *** Merry Christmas […]
A Vocation of Existing
I had big dreams as a kid. I loved singing, acting and being on the stage. I wanted to do something musical and creative with my life. Then, as a teenager, I encountered God in a radical way. I had always known God, but he took my life and rearranged it, in the way a […]
Finding Rest
I received so many comments in response to last weeks’ blog that I figured they warranted their own blog! It seems many readers could relate to the concept of rest not being restful whether because of chronic illness, pain, fatigue or sleep problems. It’s good to know we are not alone. Here follows the helpful […]
When Rest is Not Restful
There’s no rest for the wicked—or the chronically ill. When friends tell me, ‘Take care,’ or ‘Look after yourself,’ I seldom know how to respond. It’s hard to take care of myself when I live with chronic illness. Things can flare without warning. Pain can knock me sideways. Sometimes I have to say no to […]
His Disfigurements
‘We looked down on him, thought he was scum. But the fact is, it was our pains he carried— our disfigurements, all the things wrong with us. We thought he brought it on himself, that God was punishing him for his own failures. But it was our sins that did that to him, that ripped and tore and crushed […]
Roller-Skate While You Can!
‘I have decided,’ announced my psychologist/coach friend, Krystyna Kidson, ‘to make the most of things while I have them. To that end, I’m going to learn to roller-skate!’* We were discussing life with chronic illness and, in particular, I was lamenting the loss of predictability and control. ‘How can I go on,’ I moaned, ‘when […]
Not Alone and Other Stories
I recently read the Stories of Life anthology, Bones and Blue Eyes,* mostly because (shameless self-plug alert) I had two stories published in it, but also because I was genuinely interested in other people’s stories of everyday faith. The book was a blessing. There was a vast mixture of stories short and long, telling tales when […]
How ‘Two Sisters and a Brain Tumour’ Helped Me
I recently read Two Sisters and a Brain Tumour, a memoir by author friend Emily J. Maurits. Even though it was about a brain tumour, I enjoyed reading it—probably because it was about so much more than that. The author takes us on a journey through her relationship with her sister, with all the tension and […]