This is an ode To the atypical fathers Who didn’t—couldn’t—have The biological children they wanted. Here’s to the adoptive fathers, The foster fathers, the step-fathers, The sponsor fathers. Here’s to the fathers Of neighbourhood children, Of close family friends’ kids, Of sports teams, Boy scouts and girl guides. Here’s to the surrogate fathers, The ones […]
children
Swansong: A Reflection
I recently reread Jo-Anne Berthelsen’s new book, Swansong. I had already read it as an endorser, but when I received a paperback copy hot off the press, I just had to read it again! (Ah, the tactile pleasure of reading a tangible book. Who’s with me?) Berthelsen’s exhortations toward words of affirmation resonated with me. Many […]
The Pressure to Marry (and Become an Instant Baby-Making Machine)
‘So, when are you guys gonna have kids?’ My friend’s question hit me square between the eyes. To say I was surprised would have been an understatement. I was freshly engaged, not yet married. Was it normal to be pestered by baby-related questions the minute one got engaged? Unfortunately, I am not alone in my […]
I’m Childless—And Unashamed
There seems to be a lot of social media shaming childless people at present. They mock us for ageing alone. They point out how selfish we are. They bemoan the future of the Church, saying its decline is imminent without procreating couples—as though the Church were on the fragile precipice of implosion and childless people […]
A Wobbly Day
It wasn’t my church’s fault. They were doing a beautiful thing. A good thing. It’s not their fault I got sideswiped. The last worship song had ended and the congregation was seated. Then came the announcement from the stage: ‘Today we’re having a baby dedication.’ Oh crap. I felt the first hint of a wobble. […]
Travelling Childlessly
One of my parenting dreams was taking my children travelling. I always enjoyed travelling as a kid: the early morning starts when it is still dark, the air is cold and crisp, and the first stirrings of insects prelude the dawn chorus; the long sleeps in the car, and rambunctious singing along to cassette tapes […]
Spiritual Children
‘To Timothy my true son in the faith: Grace, mercy and peace from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Lord.’ (1 Timothy 1:2) What will I see when I get to heaven? I am curious about what heaven will be like and the people I will meet there. I am sure I’ll see old […]
Non-Mother’s Day
To all who dreamed of being a mother, raising a child, passing on your most prized possessions and values, I see you. To all who fantasised about shopping for tiny clothes, fitting out a nursery and singing lullabies, I see you. To all who chose names and schools and godparents, I see you. To all […]
In Honour of Bereaved Mothers
This Sunday is International Bereaved Mother’s Day (first Sunday in May every year). In honour of bereaved mothers everywhere, I want to acknowledge the different kinds of bereaved mothers in our communities. The mothers who had a child or children and lost them. The mothers of stillborn babies. The mothers who lost pregnancies to miscarriage. […]
For Singles: Milestones Worth Celebrating
Single people frequently feel left out of major life milestones and celebrations. Married people get to have weddings, bridal showers, kitchen teas, Valentine’s Days and anniversaries. If they have children, they get baby showers, Mother’s and Father’s Days, and all their children’s milestones too: first steps, first words, starting school, first dates, graduation, first jobs, […]