‘If you really wanted kids, you would do whatever it takes to have them. And if it was meant to be, it would have happened by now.’ Yes, there are people in the world who still think this is helpful advice to give to childless people. Where do I begin with dissecting this twaddle? OK, […]
childless
Am I Selfish?
Pop Francis recently got into hot water over his comments that people without children or ‘just one’ child are ‘selfish’, and that having pets instead of children ‘diminishes us, it takes away our humanity’ (see the full article here: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2022/jan/05/pope-couples-choose-pets-children-selfish). This provoked an onslaught of outraged online responses, particularly from the childless and childfree communities. Including […]
I Don’t Want to Be a Piano Teacher
‘I really wanted to teach my daughter piano,’ I said to my friend. She looked thoughtful. ‘You know what,’ she ventured, ‘There are probably lots of kids in your church who would love to learn piano.’ ‘Oh yes, there are,’ I agreed. ‘Although I’m not sure I have the experience to teach them piano. And […]
To Argue or Not To Argue…On Social Media?
I usually avoid online arguments like the plague. Don’t get me wrong, a lot of arguments on social media are worthy. Things like ‘Is COVID-19 Real?’ and ‘Who is Keeping Our Government Accountable?’ and ‘What is Your Favourite Musical and Why is it Hamilton?’ Then there are religious debates. The place of LGBQTI+ people in […]
Can We Have a God’s Day Instead of Mother’s and Father’s Days?—Part 2
Last week I shared the breath of fresh air of talking about God on Mother’s and Father’s Days, instead of our earthly mothers and fathers. I love the idea of focusing on God’s fatherly and motherly traits on such days. I would love for churches to make God the centre of these celebrations—to the extent […]
Can We Have a God’s Day Instead of Mother’s and Father’s Days?—Part 1
Most childless people struggle with Mother’s and Father’s Days. It is an unfortunate but understandable part of the grief of not having the children we wanted. It’s even harder in church services for us to applaud those who get the life—and children—we hoped for. That’s why I think we’re better off focusing on God, instead […]
My Favourite Things: When Church Does Childlessness Well
Churches often struggle to include childless people. They’re great at ministering to mothers and fathers and kids. But they often neglect those in the minority, those who didn’t follow the expected social and spiritual trajectory of getting married and making babies. I have a few choice stories about the bad and the ugly of church […]
My Bible Hero
I was caught unawares in a recent interview* on childlessness when the interviewer asked, ‘Who are your bible heroes?’ I thought fast. Who is my hero in childlessness, the one who most inspires me? I thought about Jesus. I thought about Paul. I thought about the disciples. I thought about the old testament too. And […]
Birthing Babies
I sent off another copy of Surviving Childlessness this week and, as always, I felt like I was saying goodbye to my baby. Birthing a book baby is a strange feeling. I am overjoyed at the result, a book I can hold in my hands that looks and feels exactly as I always imagined it would. But […]
Legacies of Faith: The God Who Weeps
It’s Mother’s Day again. My church is holding a Mother’s Day service. Other childless Christians might appreciate the dilemma this presents. On the one hand, I love my church and want to be part of it. On the other hand, Mother’s Day can be one of the toughest days in the calendar year. There are […]