Some of us wanted to have a family. We wanted a partner, children, grandchildren. We wanted to live a life surrounded by our loved ones. It is painful to live without the longed-for family. For single people, longing to find a partner, to love and to be loved by just one person, it can be […]
Survivng Childlessness
Happy Mother’s Day
To those who have never borne children But have carried a life inside them, Growing, growing, Only to have it snatched away Before its time. To those who have never known The sensation Of carrying another But who wanted it, Wished for it, Planned for it, Grieved for it. To those who have loved children, […]
You Are Here
Do you remember those theme parks we used to go to as kids? For me it was Australia’s Wonderland. It was a city of wonder indeed, filled with fast rides, and rollercoasters, and water rides, and chilled rides, and fairy floss, and every other kind of kiddie delight. That place was a maze. It had […]
As A Guilty Mum
I have just watched an ad selling iPads to children. Well, not to children, obviously, to their parents who actually pay for them. Part of the back-to-school marketing onslaught, presumably. The ad appeals, like most parent-targeted marketing, to the importance of giving children a head-start in life. On the surface, this sounds positive and desirable. […]
Shared Spaces
I recently went to a certain nonspecific health centre for some. . . uh. . . woman-related tests. My female readers will probably know what I mean. (My male readers may possibly know as well.) I showed up for my appointment, checked in at reception, and went and sat down in the pastel-coloured waiting […]
New Fear’s Resolutions
Diets. Exercise. Stressing less. Every year people resolve to eat better, get fit and look after themselves. They set goals – realistic or otherwise – that reveal their hopes for the year that lies ahead. But for some of us, the coming of the new year is not heralded by fireworks and champagne. It is […]
3 Things I Love and 3 Things I Hate About Christmas
There are some who would call me the Grinch. To a certain degree, this is true. The commercialism, the happy facades, the endless pressure to be and feel a certain way can lead to a distinct feeling of drudgery of the soul. But before I clothe myself in black and shuffle down the road muttering […]
When a Christian is Childless
We sat at the church function at one of those big round tables that can fit four couples around it. My husband and I listened in silent horror as the other three couples at the table freely and unashamedly bashed childless people. “Childless people have no idea what it’s like to be a parent,” they […]
Pick Up The Slack
Single and childless people – anyone, really, who does not have children – are often asked to do more, simply by virtue of their circumstances. Parents get flexible work options. They can amend their hours, leave early, and switch their commitments around. They have to be there for their kids. While this is understandable and […]
Lucky
“You’re so lucky you don’t have kids.” I was sitting in the lunchroom at work this week with two other colleagues. They were conversing about their problems with their respective children. On and on it went, all the issues and frustrations and complaints. I was mostly listening rather than talking. I did not feel I […]