Chronic illness is wildly unfair. The relentless pain and fatigue and uncertainty about the future, let alone the never-ending medical appointments, is enough to quietly drive oneself out of one’s mind. (For some of us, that’s a short ride.) The losses of illness are pervasive. It is not just about losing flexible joints or a […]
Surviving Chronic Illness
Costly Worship
Have you ever worshiped God in the midst of tragedy? Or while you’re sick? Or in the throes of anxiety? Or in the middle of a pandemic? If so, you understand the cost of worship. You have paid the price of putting your own genuine needs aside in order to serve others. You know what […]
I Resolve to Retreat
I’m not setting any goals for this year. Living in a pandemic, I have learned that one can set goals that seem totally realistic one week but which can mutate into something completely impossible the next. My personal goals around publishing books, travel and even self-care plans have been decimated over the past two years. […]
Christmas and Caterpillar Soup
I pity the caterpillar. He spends his existence crawling around, eating leaves, only to eventually enter a cocoon where his body completely disintegrates. He liquifies. He turns into caterpillar soup. Of course, he then emerges as a beautiful butterfly, and a new chapter begins. But I wonder how he feels as he approaches the cocoon. […]
Why I Write About Childlessness
I relate to the boy with the loaves and fish. In John 6, Jesus fed a crowd of five thousand people by taking an anonymous boy’s food, five loaves of bread and two fish, and handing it out. Not only was everyone satisfied, they had twelve baskets full of leftovers. I feel like that as […]
What Would I Want the Next Generation of Christian Women to Know?
I was recently interviewed by Fixing Her Eyes* and they asked me a difficult question: What would I want to tell the next generation of Christian women? What would I want them to know? I believe this worthy question warrants more than the couple of paragraphs I originally wrote. So here goes. To Christian women […]
How I’m Dealing with Health Setbacks (or Not)
I recently broke my shoulder. And it was a clever break too, in a part of the shoulder that apparently gets broken only one percent of the time. I slipped on a wet floor and landed with all my weight on my shoulder. Simple as that. And you can bet your arm it was elegant. […]
The Hope Series – Part 3: Breathing
I was thirty when I had a heart attack. OK, it wasn’t really a heart attack. But it sure felt like one. When the pain in my chest first started, I thought it was no big deal. I took some pills for what I thought was muscle pain. But as I sat there, arms wrapped […]
The Hope Series – Part 2: Singing
I have twice lost my voice to illness. Not just colds and flus either. I’m talking prolonged periods of hoarse talking, effortful breathing and painfully reduced singing ability. And those voice problems have not responded to the usual treatments. That’s because my vocal problems have not been caused by the usual culprits: bad singing technique, […]
Why I Don’t Mind Turning 40
Some people are terribly afraid of ageing. In my early twenties I travelled with a group of girls who were petrified of the big two-five. ‘I really struggled with turning twenty,’ one of them confided. ‘I don’t know how I’ll cope with being twenty-five.’ I was in my thirties at the time. It baffled me […]