‘I don’t know how you cope with your illness,’ said my well-meaning friend. ‘You must be really brave!’ I flinched inwardly. I knew she meant it as a compliment, and I took it in the spirit in which it was given, but something in me reacted involuntarily. The notion of surviving chronic illness being reduced […]
vulnerability
Swansong: A Reflection
I recently reread Jo-Anne Berthelsen’s new book, Swansong. I had already read it as an endorser, but when I received a paperback copy hot off the press, I just had to read it again! (Ah, the tactile pleasure of reading a tangible book. Who’s with me?) Berthelsen’s exhortations toward words of affirmation resonated with me. Many […]
The Grief of Cancelled Plans
I look into the empty starless night, The blackened expanse reflecting The void in my own heart. The place where gatherings, meals, Conversation, laughter, exchanges of gifts Should have lived. Now disappointment reigns— The disappointment of cancellation After cancellation, Where plans were made, Postponed, And cancelled again. Not for unwillingness or indecision, But for illness, […]
Welcoming Vulnerability?
Why do we struggle with vulnerability so badly? I find myself constantly coming up against the vulnerability of mystery in my life: the mystery of why I was single for so long (it felt interminable at the time), the risk of pregnancy going badly wrong, the insanity of chronic illness, and the way God sometimes […]
That’s Risky
There is risk inherent in sharing your story. Speaking up about childlessness is risky. What will people think of you? What will they say? Will they exclude you, mock you, reject you? The risk is real. And that’s not the only risk childless people face. There are risks involved in trying to get pregnant—and in […]