I live with chronic illness. And God hasn’t healed me. Admittedly, non-healing doesn’t seem to be much of a testimony. Yet God has brought some interesting things out of this illness experience, and perhaps they are worth sharing with you. In particular, I have had to get good at doing nothing whatsoever. My illness has […]
respite
What is ‘Real’ Strength?
‘God said this once and for all; how many times have I heard it repeated? “Strength comes straight from God.”’ – Psalms 62:11 (MSG) The life of chronic illness is one of perpetual fatigue and weariness. I constantly feel physically weak, as though weights are attached to every part of my body. Everything from throbbing […]
When Rest is Not Restful
There’s no rest for the wicked—or the chronically ill. When friends tell me, ‘Take care,’ or ‘Look after yourself,’ I seldom know how to respond. It’s hard to take care of myself when I live with chronic illness. Things can flare without warning. Pain can knock me sideways. Sometimes I have to say no to […]
Coping or Numbing?
‘You are coping so well,’ remarked my doctor. ‘Every time I see you, you’re always so positive and upbeat.’ ‘Maybe I should come in on a bad day!’ I shot back, laughing. But his words made me think. What does ‘coping’ mean? How do people interpret my happy front or humour as coping—or do they […]
An Invitation to Stillness
I have just finished devouring Julia Baird’s luscious book, Phosphorescence. One of the highlights for me—beyond the allure of ‘forest bathing’; beyond the call to authenticity and connection; beyond the notion of my own bioluminescence—was the invitation to stillness. Stillness, or silence, is not necessarily the absence of noise. On the contrary, it can include natural […]
A Glimpse of Serenity
I love Jacaranda trees. When I was growing up, one of our houses had a glorious Jacaranda tree in the backyard. Its branches stretched over a large part of the lawn, and every spring our backyard became blanketed in purple. The sight of a Jacaranda tree still gives me the warm fuzzies. Especially when in […]