‘Instead of focusing on collateral damage all the time,’ my friend smiled, ‘I’m trying to see the collateral beauty in the midst of the challenges. I’m looking at them as opportunities. And that’s made all the difference.’ Her phrase “collateral beauty” struck me—so much so that I asked her permission to use it on the […]
prayer
Why Living with Lupus is Like a Scavenger Hunt—Part 3
What about Faith? Faith can be a two-edged sword with chronic illness. On the one hand, God’s nearness and companionship have been a great comfort to me. On the other, God has not healed me of lupus. I have wrestled with this. After all, it would be a whole lot easier if God would simply […]
Why Living with Lupus is like a Scavenger Hunt—Part 1
Something was wrong with me. I just knew it. I was in my early twenties, freshly graduated from university and starting work at my first full-time job. Flushed with my own success, I threw myself into work, embracing everything it threw back at me. The world was my oyster. Except this oyster was woefully sick. […]
The Counterculturalism of Stillness
‘Be still and know that I am God.’ Psalm 46:10, NIV Nearly three years ago, I started practising stillness on a regular basis. Inspired by Julia Baird’s luminescent book, Phosphorescence*, and the constant noise inside my own head, I set myself a goal of becoming still at least once a day. It didn’t matter if […]
My Weird Testimony
‘I’ll pray for your healing,’ smiled the young woman. ‘Actually,’ I smiled back, ‘I think God has told me he’s not going to heal me.’ The woman frowned. ‘That’s not the God I know. My God would never deny me healing.’ ‘OK, let me tell you my weird testimony…’ In the not-too-distant past, I was […]
Myths of Singledom
I met my husband later in life: I was twenty-nine. OK, that may not sound like a ‘late’ marriage, but in my church circles everyone was married by the ripe old age of twenty-one. At twenty-nine, I was considered practically retired. Or a leper. During those years of singledom, I encountered some interesting myths and […]
Survival Skills: Grace in the Flames
Three years ago I became disabled by illness. I don’t know whether it was lupus or not; the illness was never diagnosed. But it was a doozy of a flare-up and I was off work for about six months. During that time, I was virtually house-bound, going out only for medical appointments. I had to […]
Survival Skills: Scriptures for Illness
‘Doubled up with pain, I call to God All the day long. No answer. Nothing. I keep at it all night, tossing and turning… I’m a bucket kicked over and spilled, Every joint in my body has been pulled apart. My heart is a blob Of melted wax in my gut. I’m dry as a […]
Prayer of a Disfigured Christian
“The servant grew up before God—a scrawny seedling, a scrubby plant in a parched field. There was nothing attractive about him, nothing to cause us to take a second look. He was looked down on and passed over, a man who suffered, who knew pain firsthand. One look at him and people turned away. We […]
Survival Skills: Beauty and Breath
In the cool of the evening, I walk down the winding street toward the lake. The sunlight is fading gently into deep yellow and orange, the feathered clouds tinged with pink. There are a few joggers and dog walkers about, and we exchange a nod and a soft greeting. I pass gum trees, bottle brushes […]