‘When we start from the foundation of knowing we are loved, rather than demolishing our faith, times of pain can lead to faith renovations…’ – ‘A Firm Foundation’, Katherine Gantlett, from Praying Through Infertility. This quote for me sums up the entire message and tone of Praying Through Infertility, the 90-day devotional for men and women struggling […]
childless
Weird Childless Relief
After my recent surgery I experienced intense nausea and vomiting for a week. As the vomiting finally backed off, I remarked to a friend, ‘If morning sickness is anything like that, I’m glad I was never pregnant!’ I was slightly surprised at my own comment. Childlessness brings many unpleasant emotions with it: disappointment, anger, grief. […]
I’m Childless—And Unashamed
There seems to be a lot of social media shaming childless people at present. They mock us for ageing alone. They point out how selfish we are. They bemoan the future of the Church, saying its decline is imminent without procreating couples—as though the Church were on the fragile precipice of implosion and childless people […]
I Screwed Up Mother’s Day
Whoops. I’ve screwed this up, haven’t I? Yup. Must have missed the memo. Or had a momentary lapse in concentration. Apparently, I am rostered on to serve at church this Mother’s Day. OK, I know it doesn’t sound like the crime of the century. Or any kind of crime at all. The fact remains I […]
A Wobbly Day
It wasn’t my church’s fault. They were doing a beautiful thing. A good thing. It’s not their fault I got sideswiped. The last worship song had ended and the congregation was seated. Then came the announcement from the stage: ‘Today we’re having a baby dedication.’ Oh crap. I felt the first hint of a wobble. […]
Multiplication Challenges—Or Are They?
‘How do you deal with being childless at church?’ a friend recently asked me. ‘Do people put pressure on you to “Be fruitful and multiply”?’ I nodded emphatically. ‘You betcha. Happens all the time.’ Her eyes widened. ‘How do you deal with that?’ It’s a good question, isn’t it? What is the best way to […]
Welcoming Vulnerability?
Why do we struggle with vulnerability so badly? I find myself constantly coming up against the vulnerability of mystery in my life: the mystery of why I was single for so long (it felt interminable at the time), the risk of pregnancy going badly wrong, the insanity of chronic illness, and the way God sometimes […]
Travelling Childlessly
One of my parenting dreams was taking my children travelling. I always enjoyed travelling as a kid: the early morning starts when it is still dark, the air is cold and crisp, and the first stirrings of insects prelude the dawn chorus; the long sleeps in the car, and rambunctious singing along to cassette tapes […]
The Need for Silent Night
Everyone is talking about self-care this Christmas. For each of us, self-care will look different, depending on our personality, holiday plans and personal circumstances. Personally, I am living with childlessness and chronic illness. (And a cat. So it is not all bad.) Which begs the question: how does a person with grief and sickness celebrate […]
Unto Us a Child is Born…
‘Unto us a child is born…’ (Isaiah 9:6) Such a beautiful, inspiring verse. What does this verse mean for those who are childless? ‘Unto us a child is born…’ It’s a bold anthem of hope for the people of the world, that Christ our Saviour has come to us. ‘Unto us a child is born…’ […]