Retreating—In a Good Way

When is a retreat a good retreat? 

When it’s a writer’s retreat. 

Actually, there are many forms of healthy and healing retreat. Last weekend I indulged in several of them: I took off to a friend’s place in the Blue Mountains, met with writer-friends, ate fresh scones with jam and cream (essential fuel for writing), looked out the window into the neighbouring bushland, cuddled a cat in front of a cozy fire, and wrote a chunk of a new fantasy story without any planning whatsoever. 

It was a mini-vacation from adulting, overthinking and over-responsibility. It was fabulous. 

It was a mini-vacation from adulting, overthinking and over-responsibility.

The only catch was that the group offered a critique at the end of the day. (As far as ‘catches’ go, it’s not the worst one I’ve ever encountered.) Each writer was invited to read aloud a portion of their work and the other writers responded with constructive feedback. 

I’ve participated in critique circles before. And let me tell you, no matter how many times I do it, it’s always as nerve-wracking as hell. 

Why do I do this to myself? Why do I open myself up to criticism of my writing, especially when I’m feeling so vulnerable as a fresh-faced fantasy writer? 

Because I want to get better as a writer. Because I trust these other writers, not just that they know their stuff, but that they have my best interests at heart. Because when these friends know what I’m tackling in my writerly life, they can pray for me as well as support me. 

I trust these writers, not just that they know their stuff, but that they have my best interests at heart.

You know what? The feedback was great. I learned that I have a couple of plot holes in my story, practical things that can easily be amended. I learned about my overuse of the word ‘felt’ (and I have to say, I felt personally attacked. What is so wrong with characters feeling things? *Sob*) and how to work around such problematic writing habits. 

I also learned that people liked my writing. A lot. They enjoyed the action sequence, the pacing, the descriptions—it was so affirming for me as a new-to-fiction writer still wracked with self-doubt and imposter syndrome. I felt greatly encouraged. 

But that wasn’t all. At the end of the night as we were wrapping up, a bonus lay in store for me. A writer whom I very much admire, especially in the sphere of fantasy writing, leaned over to me and said fiercely, ‘You must publish your fantasy writing.’ They went on to tell me how good my first draft was, not the best thing on the market by any means, but also far from the worst thing. They practically ordered me to pursue fiction writing. 

I nearly raised my hand for the blood oath. 

This is why I make every effort to attend writing retreats, not for the blood oaths, but the feedback, support and prayer that you can’t get anywhere else. It comes from friends who not only care but who know what it’s like to wrestle alone with words for years, hoping it all amounts to something. It comes from people who understand because they are walking the path themselves—a path soaked with blood, sweat and tears, with self-doubt and rejection, with passion and prayer and perseverance and triumph. 

It comes from people who understand because they are walking the path themselves.

That’s the kind of retreat I can get behind. 

Have you ever been on a writer’s retreat? What did you like about it? Do you have any writer-friends whom you can support on their writerly journeys and vice versa? Share your story. Let’s have a countercultural conversation.