A Recovering Perfectionist Finds Joy

It’s been a difficult morning. A difficult month, actually. Nothing special, just the general busyness of work and life. Lots of appointments and medical things going on, all important, all worthwhile, but taxing. And it’s catching up with me.

At times like these, I often hear the voice of the Perfectionist bellowing in my ear:

‘You should be able to cope with this.’

‘This should have been done already.’

‘You shouldn’t be so stressed.’

Should, should, should. Not only are these Shoulds constant, they are typically unrealistic too. What kind of person can do all the things and never get stressed or overwhelmed? How helpful is a steady stream of Shoulds, anyway?

So I was feeling all strung out this morning—when it happened. My cat walked into the room, meowed loudly, and rubbed himself against my leg.

And I took a breath.

I took a breath.

I suddenly remembered the antidote to perfectionism is joy. It’s so hard to feel joy when you’re feeling all strung out. It is for me, anyway. I had forgotten all about it. But my dear rescue cat helped me remember. Sometimes when my brain is stuck in a record groove, I need someone to give me a nudge.

I paused and gave my cat a pat. Then I opened the doors of the house to let a cross-breeze through. I opened the blinds so I could see the garden. I put my phone aside. I got something to eat and put on a TV comedy show that I really enjoy. I let the cat jump on my lap and listened to his deep rhythmic purring. I exhaled. I apologised to God for once again getting caught up in the web of the Perfectionist. I took a moment to lean on him in silence.

These are the simple things that can bring us joy, things that are right in front of us every day which we often take for granted. I know I do. But when I stop to smell the roses in my front garden—when I look into the face of my cat who is staring adoringly back at me—when I feel the calmness of the Spirit, closer than my skin—I remember.

Today is going to be a busy day. I wish I had more time to relax. But while I can, I’m going to take this moment to chill, to laugh, and to rest in the arms of the Father as he rejoices over me with singing. (Zephaniah 3:15)

Do you struggle with perfectionism? How easy is it for you to find joy? What simple things could bring joy into your day today? Share your story. Let’s have a countercultural conversation.