Three years ago I became disabled by illness. I don’t know whether it was lupus or not; the illness was never diagnosed. But it was a doozy of a flare-up and I was off work for about six months. During that time, I was virtually house-bound, going out only for medical appointments. I had to […]
chronic illness
Survival Skills: It’s Not Fair!
There are times when I get super jealous of able-bodied people. There, I said it. As much as envy is not exactly a fruit of the Spirit, this try-hard Christian experiences jealousy on a semi-regular basis. I feel it watching other people climb stairs without a problem. I experience it when friends regale me with […]
Survival Skills: Scriptures for Illness
‘Doubled up with pain, I call to God All the day long. No answer. Nothing. I keep at it all night, tossing and turning… I’m a bucket kicked over and spilled, Every joint in my body has been pulled apart. My heart is a blob Of melted wax in my gut. I’m dry as a […]
Survival Skills: The God Who Allows Pain
‘Why does God allow suffering?’ is a common catch-cry in our society. Christians and non-Christians alike struggle with the concept of a God who either doesn’t seem to care about our pain, or who cares but appears powerless to intervene. For a Christian who believes God is all-powerful as well as all-caring, it’s a conundrum. […]
Survival Skills: Beauty and Breath
In the cool of the evening, I walk down the winding street toward the lake. The sunlight is fading gently into deep yellow and orange, the feathered clouds tinged with pink. There are a few joggers and dog walkers about, and we exchange a nod and a soft greeting. I pass gum trees, bottle brushes […]
Survival Skills: Find Your Illness Tribe
‘Find your tribe,’ they say. But how do you find your illness tribe—especially when your illness is rare? My particular brand of illness, known as lupus, apparently affects approximately 0.06% of the population and five million people worldwide.[i] So it’s not like I’m going to find many fellow ‘lupies’ at my workplace or local church. […]
Survival Skills: Upending Ableism
‘You need to do more squats,’ said my friend. ‘When your muscles are stronger, your knees won’t hurt as much.’ I stared at her. ‘Yeah, no,’ I snorted. ‘I can’t actually do squats at all.’ ‘Well,’ she said, the cogs in her brain clearly struggling with the concept of someone being unable to do squats, […]
Survival Skills: Grieving Spaces
I woke up with a niggle in my chest. It’s fine, I told myself. I took pain killers anyway. They I laid down to rest, but the pain became rapidly worse. So I got up, sat on the couch, and began praying that the pain killers would kick in really soon. Twenty minutes later I […]
Am I Brave?
‘I don’t know how you cope with your illness,’ said my well-meaning friend. ‘You must be really brave!’ I flinched inwardly. I knew she meant it as a compliment, and I took it in the spirit in which it was given, but something in me reacted involuntarily. The notion of surviving chronic illness being reduced […]
Not Your Typical Self-Help Book (Thank God)
I can’t stand self-help books. You know the ones that advertise ‘Seven Steps to a Completely Successful Life’ and ‘Nine Ways to Be the Best Christian Ever’? Yep, not a fan. It’s not that I think these topics are trite or unworthy of our time. Quite the opposite. These are hugely important discussions for us […]