I’m an Alfa Romeo

‘Sorry I don’t have better news,’ the doctor apologised. ‘But you’re going to need surgery.’

I laughed hollowly. ‘It’s okay, I’m used to getting fresh diagnoses every other day. In fact, you can put this new one on my tab!’

The news about surgery wasn’t all bad; surgery was a long-awaited answer to a chronic problem, and I was grateful to finally have a way forward.

But my doctor wasn’t done with the jokes. ‘You’re an Alfa Romeo.’

‘How’s that?’ I have been diagnosed with a lot of things in my time, but I’ve never been diagnosed with Alfa-Romeotitis before.

‘Well, you’re a classic car, iconic, special. But you’re constantly breaking down.’

I laughed out loud. ‘Yep, that’s me!’

Since then, I have been proud to lay claim to the name of Alfa Romeo. My body is unique, a one-of-a-kind classic. And yes, it does break down frequently. That doesn’t make it any less unique; if anything, it makes it more so. And this iconic body is no less mine.

Laughter and metaphor are two great ways of dealing with a funky body.

Laughter and metaphor are two great ways of coming to terms with a funky body. If that’s not enough for you today, here’s one more: our bodies have carried us this far. True, there may have been many break downs along the way, the engine keeps overheating, a tyre has sprung a leak and there’s a rather worrying noise coming from the back of the car. But these vehicles have gotten us where we are today.

Does that make any difference for you? It does for me. There are days when I’m downright depressed about this Alfa Romeo being so unpredictable and unreliable. I wish I could exchange it for a better make and model. Or at least find a good mechanic. So I remind myself that even though this has not been a smooth ride, my body has stayed alive so far. For now, that’s enough.

It’s frankly remarkable that this body hasn’t burst into flames before now. Seriously, I’ve had so many major flares and health scares and near misses, it’s a wonder that I’m still alive. But I am. And you are too. No matter what we’ve been through, our bodies have somehow managed to keep going. That’s pretty freakin’ amazing.

I’m grateful for this Alfa Romeo. I’m going to take the best care of it that I can.

Do you liken your body to a classic car? If so, which make and model is it? What has kept your ‘vehicle’ going through the trials of chronic illness? Share your story. Let’s have a countercultural conversation.